“I remember that day specifically. The day I took the job that I most regret taking. I was lucky when I got out of that place alive. It was November of the year 2037. The date of my first day was November 16th, 2037. I remember it like it was yesterday. Who am I, you may be asking? My name is Earl Barnes, and I was the night guard for Colby Coyote’s Chicken Tender Palace for about a week. Then I resigned. Why did I resign? Well, that, I’ll tell you later. Right now, I’m gonna take you back to the beginning. To the day when I found this dreaded job in the paper. I’m gonna take you back to the exact date. Friday, November 13th. 2037. Let’s go back.

I was at bar with my friend Alonzo when I discovered the ad. Now that I think about it, I’m honestly surprised that people still read newspapers. You know, with the evolvement of technology. But anyways, just when we started buying drinks, the bartender asked me if I had a job. I said no. The dude told me that he has a newspaper and there was a job section in it. To that I replied with that I didn’t know they still made newspapers, but sure I would take one. I read it through, then I saw the ad for Colby’s. I read that there were no skills needed at all, just athleticism. I didn’t understand why they needed athleticism, but I was a football player in high school and I went running daily, so I circled the ad. When I went home, I called the place, and I had an interview the next day, which now I realize that was a little suspicious.”

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