It's 1997 and you're downloading Pokémon porn on your 56k modem. Oh boy, this zip file full of Misty nudes only has 10 minutes left. You've been waiting six hours for this. When the file gets to 99.9%, you start unzipping your pants and are getting ready for the fap of your life. At that moment, guess who picks up the phone and disconnects you? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.

You have just been rewarded with your Masters Degree in Cancer Research. In ten minutes you are going to have an interview to get the job of a lifetime with a six digit salary. You'll be able to pay off your student loans no problem. You flip on the TV right before you leave and what do you see? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK has just found the cure for cancer.

You have just fended off a shark, you are bloody and tired but you can climb onto the boat when who shows up to stomp your fingers? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.

You're walking home at night and a mugger attacks you with a knife. You are able to drive him off using years of karate lessons, still sustaining some deep knife wounds. Guess who shows up and asks you for your wallet with a baseball bat? Gary MOTHERFUCKING OAK, that's who.

Congratulations, You have finally beaten Gary Oak and have no healing items left over. You head over to the Pokemon center and then the PokeMart, guess who blocks the entrance to the Pokemart. GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK That's Right, Gary Oak is just that Epic.

Gary Oak just finished owning your ass with kung-fu. He's walking to the hospital to recover from the wounds he got. He's tired. He crashes into a mirror, and ends up in a coma. Why? Because not even GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK is safe from GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.