narrator: BS looked everywhere for his exercise equipment but couldn't find it anywhere, frustrated he stormed out of his castle and wandered into the woods

BS: those fucks think they can stall me out huh? well I'll show them

narrator: BS walked into a clearing in the woods and found a rock, he lifted it up and threw it down multiple times

BS: I'll just have to make due with what I have

narrator; after looking around the woods for a bit he found a few rocks and tree branches that served in place of exercise equipment, he spent the rest of his day lifting, throwing, and pushing them around. however he came to a complete stop when he heard someone speak

echo: I must say you look like quite a fool, playing with sticks and stones all day

BS: the fuck do you want

echo: what I REALLY want to do right now is kill you, but I want to look my best when I take over so I'm a bit on the fence

narrator: Bs turned around to see echo pointing her pistol at him with a shaky hand, he also noticed that she had a bit of a belly as well

BS: well well looks like someone had a bit of fun on gluttony day

echo: say another word and I gun you down, besides, its illegal to fat shame you know

BS: you're right, you're right

echo: ugh, why did such a good opportunity have to arise at such a bad time

BS: I dunno

echo: what are you even doing out here anyway

BS: I should ask you the same thing

echo: I'm trying to be alone for once

BS: all my exercise equipment was stolen and I came out here to work "this" off in private

echo: oh?

BS: yeah

echo: that isn't a bad idea

BS: what? do you not have any exercise equipment

echo: I wanted to buy some on choice day but apparently everyone else had the same idea

BS: how about a truce, out of the woods we are enemies, inside the woods we're workout buddies, deal

echo: whatever gets this doughy exterior away faster

BS: want to shake on it

echo: hell no you'll take off my hand with those bloody claws of yours

BA: fair

narrator: so echo begrudgingly joined BS in his exercising endeavors meanwhile back at the castle BS's friends were chatting

baunjovi: so when are we going to give BS his shit back

lusi: his what

dolly: we hid BS's exercise equipment to see how mad he would get

lulu: I say we give it back in... about a week

baunjovi: yeah that sounds about right

lusi: speaking of brooks, where is he anyway

mother daisy: I saw him storm out of the castle hours ago, last time I checked he hasn't come back

lusi: I hope he's not taking it too hard

dolly: he's satan, he'll be fine

narrator: a few hours later BS cam back to the castle

lusi: oh hey Brooks, where have you been

BS: just out and about, all my exercise equipment was stolen so I've been jogging a lot more recently

lusi: oh really

BS: yeah, those fucks think they can stall me to the end of the year well I'm one step ahead of them

lusi: good for you

narrator: a few days went by with echo and BS having this secret arrangement and the hooligans were staring to grow tired of their prank

mother daisy: he isn't getting as angary as we thought he would

plaguey: its bizarre, usually he cares about his self image

baunjovi: this was a dumb idea to begin with, we should have known from the beginning that he'd just find a loophole or something

lulu: should we just give him his stuff back

plaguey: lets give it one more day, maybe he'll snap

narrator: meanwhile in the woods

echo: ugh, this progress is going so slow, I don't look any better then when we started

BS: listen this shit isn't magic, it takes time to put yourself back together

echo: but there has to be a more efficient way to do this

BS: well...there is, I'm just not sure you'd like it

echo: spit it out damn you

BS: I hear sex is amazing exercise

echo: oh keep it in your pants you dit

BS: I'm serious, I read this article once about like how the fattest woman in the world lost the weight by having sex multiple times a day

echo: why the fuck would you read that

BS: I get bored on the shitter

echo: then play candy crush like the rest of us

BS: what are you 50?

echo: eh close

BS: listen are we doing it or not

echo: are you sure this shit works

BS: I dunno but its worth a try right

echo: ugh, if we're doing it then there are going to be some ground rules, you will not look me in the eyes

BS: thank god

echo: you will not moan

BS: didn't plan on it

echo: you will not talk

BS: okay

echo: and most importantly NO ONE FINDS OUT

BS: you're talking as if I WANT to tell people I willingly had sex with you

echo: so you agree

BS: 100%

narrator: while echo and BS were making hate someone else had entered the forest

dolly: so what are we doing out here

lusi: well I found this sniper rifle in BS's armory and I wanted to try it out

dolly: right, why am I here

lusi: well if I miss and hit you you won't die right

dolly: true, and what are these Frisbees for

lusi: targets, I want you to throw them in the air so I can shoot at them

dolly: alright

narrator: lusi and dolly stopped at a clear patch in the woods

lusi: alright toss it

dolly: ok

narrator: dolly tossed the frisbee, lusi aimed but didn't shoot

dolly: hey piece of advice, you pull the trigger to shoot

lusi: I know that, I just don't know why it didn't shoot

dolly: oh my god, the fuckin safety is on

lusi: oops, forgot about that

dolly: geez its like you never shot a gun before

lusi: I haven't

dolly: what kind of american are you

lusi: I'm learning lay off

dolly: alright fine, is the safety off

lusi: I think so

dolly: jesus christ, alright I'm ready when you are

lusi: alright, chuck it

narrator: dolly threw the next frisbee, lusi aimed, shot and missed

lusi: damint

dolly: well you got it to fire for once

lusi: throw another one

dolly: alright

narrator: lusi finished reloading and dolly threw the next frisbee, lusi missed again

dolly: maybe we should work with regular targets first, we're running out of frisbees and I don't feel like going in the woods to collect the ones you missed

lusi: yeah mayb-- do you hear that

dolly: hear wha--

narrator: lusi and dolly heard a faint moaning in the distance

dolly: what kind of whore magic did you pull to make that happen

lusi: that wasn't me, trust me I would own up to it

dolly: then what the hell is it?

lusi: I dunno, but its super distracting

dolly: yeah lets tell these hoboes to fuck somewhere else, take the gun we might need to teach them a lesson

narrator: so lusi and dolly followed the sound of the moaning to a clearing where...well let let the scene speak for itself

BS: I thought you said no moaning

echo: NO TALKING

lusi: WOOHOO YOU GO GIRL!

echo: AH!

BS: WHAT THE FUCK

dolly: MY EYES!

lusi: so...anything you want to tell me

BS: this is for exercise purposes only

dolly: you're fucking my mom, who hates you, for exercise?

BS: we made a truce

echo: although now I want nothing more than to slit your throat

BS: hey in the woods we're--

echo: SHUT UP and pull out while you're at it I'm sick of you

BS: gladly

dolly: welp its official, I'm burning my eyes today

narrator: echo and BS got their clothes back on in a hurry, echo teleported away in embarrassment, leaving BS alone with dolly and lusi

BS: so uh, are ya mad

lusi: no, just shocked

dolly: I am

BS: really, I thought you would be pissed

lusi: why? if I'm allowed to fuck every man woman and goat in hell why shouldn't you

dolly: ew

BS: oh thank god

lusi: was that really only about exarcise?

BS: well, yeah all my stuff was stolen and I had to find a different way, and I felt embarrassed at myself for, well this

narrator: his tail pointed at his gut

lusi: is that it, are you really that self conscious about it

BS: yes

lusi: ugh, I can't believe I'm about to do this

narrator: lusi adjusted something on her back and a belly brace fell off revealing the softness underneath, dolly began to poke lusi's belly soon after

BS: when did this happen

lusi: around when I did that fuck off against angel dust, I took in more that day than I ever did before, plus I learned the hard way that solid food goes to all the wrong places...dolly what are you doing

narrator: while lusi was talking dolly started poking her belly

dolly: S O F T

lusi: stop touching me damnit

dolly: never

lusi: anyway, Brooks, want to help me work this off at the castle, I bought a new pair of yoga pants that look a few sizes too small

BS: lets do it

lusi: over and over again

dolly: shut up both of you

BS: so can I say I'm officially a mother fucker now

dolly: you're going to be fucking dead if you don't shut the fuck up

BS: alright

END