baunjovi: ma...ma...ma what are you doing

mother daisy: cleansing

baunjovi: ma I want you to think about what you just told me and then think about how the fuck I'm supposed to understand what you mean by "cleansing"

narrator: baunjovi had walked in on mother daisy as she was shoving an alarming amount of booze, weed, mushrooms, and things baunjovi had never seen into a large white sack

mother daisy: the other day you and lusi told me I had a problem

baunjovi: more like multiple problems but yeah

mother daisy: well I'm taking it to heart, I am going to go an entire week with no booze, no drugs, and no substances

baunjovi: shit ma, that's...actually pretty mature of you, I'm proud of you

mother daisy: thank you, now please hide all of this before I change my mind

baunjovi: you got it ma

narrator: baunjovi then left mother daisy's room, baunjovi was thinking of where to hide the sack when someone banged on the castle door

baunjovi: hello

???: hello, is Brooks here

baunjovi: I think so, why

???: well tell him his parents want to see him

baunjovi: wait you're Brooks's parents?

???: yes sir indeed, and wish to see our son

baunjovi: right away

narrator: baunjovi went up to BS's room and knocked on the door, however he was.... busy

lusi: ugh ugh ugh

BS: YES YES YES

(knock knock)

lusi: ugh who's that ugh

BS: ugh who ugh cares ugh

baunjovi: YO BROOKS! OPEN THE DOOR

BS: SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M BUSY

baunjovi: YO THESE TWO DEMONS ARE AT THE DOOR, THERE AH SAYIN THEY YER PARENTS

BS: and there goes my afternoon

lusi: wow I've never seen someone go limp so fast

BS: well nothing makes me more pissed off than my parents

lusi: what are you going to do

BS: well they already ruined our afternoon, might as well give it a look

narrator: BS and lusi got their clothes on and met the two demons now sitting on BS's couch

???: bout time you got here son

BS: hi sinbad

sinbad: where are your manners call me father like you're supposed to

BS: uh huh

mevilda: you better not start calling me mavilda, I'm your mother and you'll address me as such

BS: what do you two want

mevilda: only to see our son again

BS: oh please cut the crap, you only showed up to me in the living world if you wanted something, why would that change here

sinbad: because son we had a change of heart and wanted to apologize

BS: sure sure

lusi: come on brooks these are your parents, how bad can they be

BS: I literally became the devil, what do you think

mevilda: were you busy *ahem renting something when we came

BS: what? lusi? no I'm not "renting" her, she's my girlfriend

sinbad/mevilda:.......

BS: what

sinbad: how do I put this...we always thought you were gay

BS: go figure, the parents that never asked once about my personal life got something wrong

lusi: wait you thought he was gay

mevilda: well we always assumed

sinbad: you did hang out with a lot of guys

BS: yeah, I had FRIENDS god you people just assume I'm fucking with anybody I happen to hang out with

mevilda: well we're sorry about being incorrect in our assumption I'm sure your... partner is, hmm I'd say lovely but you know you're here so...

lusi: ahahaha go fuck yourself

BS: god damn and you wonder why I ran away so many times

mevilda: we're sorry brookie, we're just a bit awkward is all

BS: you weren't awkward with antonio

lusi: who?

BS: my older brother

lusi: you had a brother?

sinbad: brooks, you never told her about antonio?

BS: god damn it you got them started

mevilda: I mean how couldn't you, he was positively perfect

BS: he beat me

mevilda: oh but it never hurt you too badly

BS: my childhood of black eyes care to differ

sinbad: oh come on, I was beaten as a child and I turned out fine

BS: you're in hell dad, we all are, besides if you love antonio so much why don't you go visit him

mevilda: oh sweetie...he's still alive we can't

sinbad: also we wanted to make things right with you, we're sorry for picking favorites in life and wanted to show you we changed

BS: What you've said so far leads me to think the opposite

mevilda: we can talk about it over dinner I'm sure we can come to some good terms

BS: fine, dinner is in an hour, I have some things to take care of

mevilda: oh good, you're getting up. can you please get that slave boy we saw earlier to carry my purse

BS: I beg your pardon?

mevilda: that black guy you had answer the door,

BS: baunjovi is not my slave, he's my right-hand man thank you very much

narrator: one hour later the table was set and the hooligans, as well as BS's parents, had sat down to talk. mother daisy was right next to them, shifting uncomfortably in her seat eyeing mevilda's wine glass

mevilda: what's with the spazz

lusi: daisy here is trying to work through her alcohol addiction and is going through a bit of withdrawal

baunjovi: jesus ma I didn't know you had it this bad it's only been two hours

mevilda: for the love of god, just take my wine if you want it that badly, it tastes dreadful anyway

mother daisy: n--n

lusi: you can do it mom

mother daisy: no th-thank y-you

lusi: there you go mom, we're proud of you

mother daisy: thank you lusi

sinbad: wait, this is your mom?

lusi: stepmom

sinbad: ah okay

mevilda: so brookie, who are all these little friends of yours

BS: oh yeah, the girl with the fox ears is lulu, the chick with the mask is pleaguy and the doll standing right next to ya is dolly

narrator: mevilda and sinbad then turned to see dolly giving them a creepy grin

dolly: pat my fluffy head

mevilda: hell no you look like you have fleas

BS: oh no

narrator: dolly began to tear up

BS: you really should pat her head

mevilda: why?

dolly: WAAAAAA!

BS: that's why

sinbad: SHUT HER UP PLEASE!

narrator: dolly then ran out of the room in tears

BS: god damn it now look what you did, I'll be right back

narrator: BS then wen toff after dolly, soon after he left the parents looked at each other and nodded

mevilda: where is the bathroom

lusi: down the hall and to the left

sinbad: thank you

narrator: both parents then got up

baunjovi: what? both of you need to go

mevilda: uh yes, we held it in for the entire hour

narrator: then they both left abruptly

baunjovi: well this seems sus

lusi: yeah, very strange that they both left at the same time

mother daisy: please take that wine glass out of my sight

baunjovi: will do

lusi: I must say mom I'm impressed with how well you're handling this

mother daisy: well it's like your mother said, you shouldn't be unhappy with your only parental figure

narrator: speaking of parental figures something was happening in the hall

BS: do you want me to pat your head dolly

dolly: no! the damage is done

BS: what the hell do you want me to do then

dolly: I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

BS: god damn it

echo: hello darlings

narrator: BS and dolly looked up to see echo pointing her gun at BS , then someone grabbed them both from behind

echo: I must say you two did a wonderful job

sinbad: well no one knows how to get under BS's skin like us

mevilda: agreed

BS: if you're expecting me to act surprised I'm not

echo: I'm going to enjoy thi--

dolly: HIA!

narrator: dolly burst out of sinbad's hands and knocked the gun out of echo's hand, causing it to go off when it hit the floor

echo: shit

baunjovi: the fuck was that!

narrator: BS threw off mevilda and pushed her into echo and then launched a wave of fire that sent mevilda, echo, and sinbad out of a nearby window

sinbad: well that didn't go as planned

echo: actually everything went perfectly, did you see the pain in satan's eyes, did you hear the defeat inside, satan was covering up his feelings, this means he's in a vulnerable state, which means my friend can take the rest

mevilda: I don't follow

echo: you were never meant to kill him, the betrayal was only meant to weaken his psyche, now a friend of mine will be able to take care of things from here

END