Brooks: well hello ladies

Lusi: hey, you ready to start, the clock’s ticking

Brooks: oh hell yeah, BAUN BAUN THEY’RE HERE

Baunjovi: oh hell yeah

Brooks: aight I got lusi and you got lulu

Baunjovi: which is which again

Brooks: lulu is the short, brown haired one

Baunjovi: got it got it

Brooks: aight bauns we got an hour to ourselves. so ladies lets get started 

Narrator: baunjovi and brooks took their respective girls into their rooms and began, erm with the session

Error: you do realize we can have our R rating back right

Narrator: we can!?!

Error: yeah our sensor is gone

Narrator: oh thank god

Error: mind if I narrate this scene and take advantage of our R rating

Narrator: be my guest

Error: aight so here’s the dealio they fucked

Narrator: that’s it

Error: ON WITH THE STORY

Brooks: wow...just wow

Lusi: that

Brooks: was

Lusi: enchanting

Brooks: I’m totally hiring you again

Lusi: you’re too kind

Narrator: brooks began hiring lusi far more often, every week at the same time and the same day, hell it came to a point where lusi would head over on her own accord. And after a few months, brooks didn’t need to pay anymore

Pimpster: YOU QUIT! What do you mean you quit

Lusi: I found a place to stay, no rent required

Pimpster: god damn it, of all the ladies here I didn’t think YOU would be the one to fall in love on me

Lusi: what can I say, shit happens, take care

Narrator: and with that lusi left, while she was out baunjovi and brooks were chatting about important matters

Baunjovi: ey boss

Brooks: yeah baun?

Baunjovi: I notice yer spending a lot of time with that girl ya keep hiring

Brooks: oh I don’t need to hire her no more

Baunjovi: are you two a-- 

Brooks: hell yeah we are

Baunjovi: does she know about...ya know the whole….gang thing

Brooks: kinda, sorta, maybe

Baunjovi: brooks!

Brooks: okay she knows a do a bit of shoplifting here and there, I haven’t gotten to the nugget bandits yet

Baunjovi: brooks! Think with your real head for a second, you gotta tell her the truth

Brooks: aight aight I will

Narrator: later that night

Brooks: really? Ya quit yer job for me

Lusi: eh never really like pimpster anyway, bit of a jackass

Brooks: heh aight

Narrator: Brooks looked at his phone and saw he got a text from baunjovi

Baunjovi: (text) TELL HER DAMNIT

Brooks: ey uh lusi

Lusi: yeah

Brooks: I got a little something to tell ya

Lusi: brooks, no offense but I don’t think we;ve been together long enough for you to me asking for marriage

Brooks: nah it’s not that 

Lusi: then what’s so important?

Brooks: I---I’m, the leader of the nugget bandits….I thought you needed to know

Lusi: wait you’re the leader of that petty gang

BS: petty? That’s what people think of us

Lusi: you guys steal nuggets, how do you not expect to be laughed at

BS: wait so you’re not mad or nothing

Lusi: well it's not like you guys do any REAL harm “oh no a quadrillion dollar company lost a few nuggets at one location whatever will they do” 

Brooks: ey ey ey we’re more than just a joke, I could get whatever I wanted if I cared enough

Lusi: pfft really

Brooks: hell yeah, I’ll prove it. What do ya want love, I’ll nab ya anything

Lusi: anything

Brooks: yes anything

Lusi: well there is this diamond ring I’ve been seeing at the mall that would look gorgeous on my finger

Brooks: the big one right in the middle of the jewelry store

 Lusi: yeah that one

Brooks: done, you’ll have your ring tomorrow

Lusi: really? You’ll get it that fast

Brooks: anything for my lady

Baunjovi: (text) YO WTF

Narrator: the next day

Brooks: aight bois the mall is closing, you ready

Baunjovi: I dunno about this man we’ve never done something this big before

Brooks: eh ya gotta start somewhere

Benjamin: why are we messing around with a ring anyway, what do we need it for

Brooks: I promised my lady I’d get it for her

Benjamin: you’re serious? I’m risking prison time and my own life because of your girlfriend!

Brooks: correct

Benjamin: fuck this, this ait worth losing me family

Jack: yeah I’m not really feeling this

Brooks: jack! You too

Jack: yeah man, I mean if we were gonna pawn it off or something I’d be down but like, this doesn’t really reward the risk if ya know what I mean

Lusi: so you guys aren;t getting my ring

Brooks: yer getting the damn ring, baun baun you got my back right

Baunjovi: bro...I don’t know about thos

Brooks: come on man

Baunjovi: I’m….I’m gonna pass

Brooks: BRO!

Baunjovi: the guys are right, can’t we just rob another mcdonalds or something, ya know something with less risk attached

Brooks: YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF COWARDS

Baunjovi: AND YOU CAN’T STOP THINKING WITH YOUR DICK FOR TWO MINUTES!

Brooks: whatever I’m getting that ring myself

Baunjovi: have fun with that

Narrator: brooks then split apart from the group, getting his gear on when somebody grabbed his shoulder

Lusi: need help

Brooks: You want to help? You sure you’re up for it

Lusi: do you really have a choice

Brooks: eh fair enough

Lusi: this date is gonna be fun

Brooks: heh, I guess it is kinda like a date aint it

Narrator: the two made their way down to the mall

Brooks: aight, the mall should be closed, so here’s the plan. You and me are going to enter this vent shaft here using this crobar

Lusi: uh huh

Brooks: then, we’ll sneak through the vents until we’re above the ring case

Lusi: uh huh

Brooks: then, we’ll use this suction cup to pull off the glass case

Lusi: uh huh

Brooks: then I’m gonna tie this rope around yer waist and lower ya in

Lusi: wait why am I being lowered?

Brooks: because yer lighter than me

Lusi: are you sure about that

Brooks: I’m 99% sure that you weigh less than me

Lusi: I mean

Narrator: she gestured towards her large *curv--

Error: MASSIVE ASS, DUMMY THICC CHEEKS, SIZIBLE BADONKADONK, BLACK GURL BOOTY, ENLARGED REAR, PUFFED CUSHIONS!

Narrator: yeah that

Brooks: okay do you really think you can lift me

Narrator: lusi put her arms around brook’s waist and tried lifting him up, she got him off the ground for a few seconds before having to put him down

Lusi: okay you try me

Narrator: brooks then lifted lusi up and held her in his arms

Brooks: see (huff) I (gasp) got ya

Lusi: ya don’t look like it

Narrator: brooks then put her down

Brooks: if we do a good job I shouldn’t need to hold you for that long

Luis: okay if you say so

Brooks: anyway, I’ll lower you, you grab the ring, I drag you back up and we bolt outta there

Lusi: okay 

Narrator: the two snuck to the side of the mall, cracked open a vent shaft, and got to work

Brooks: aight, I think I got it 

Lusi: what

Brooks: this right here, this vent entrance should be right above the ring

Lusi:ooh I’m so excited

Brooks: yeah yeah

Narrator: brooks lowered the suction cup and fastened it onto the glass covering, he pulled with all of his might and got the cover off

Brooks: aight, now its your turn 

Narrator: lusi began to shimmy out of the vent entrance before stopping midday

Lusi: um brooks

Brooks: what?

Lusi: is this entrance smaller than the one we entered through

Brooks: don’t tell me

Lusi: I’m stuck

Brooks: damnit damnit damnit

Narrator: brooks pressed his hand on lusi’s behind and began to push her out

Lusi: hey watch it

Brooks: you watch it or we’re gonna get cau-- AHH!

Narrator: he pushed lusi out of the shaft but the surprise of his success caused him to fall after her, both of them landing on the pedestal with the ring

Alarm: RING RING RING RING

Guards: PREPARE TO GET FUCKED BY THE LONG DICK OF THE LAW

Brooks: SHIT SHIT!

 Lusi: WHAT NOW!

Brooks: RUN LIKE HELL!

Narrator: brooks and lusi bolted out of the store with the guards chasing behind, they tried gunning for the stairs but ended up getting cut off, they twisted and turned throughout the mall. 

Lusi: THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

Brooks: IT’S A FUCKING MALL WHY DOES IT NEED THIS MUCH SECURITY! 

Narrator: the pair turned a corner and found themselves running to the roof where they stopped in their tracks

Brooks: WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE LADDERS

Lusi: it’s too tall to jump!

Brooks: fuck…

Lusi: were fucked aren’t we

Brooks: yeah...and its all my fault

Lusi: I shouldn’t have asked you to do this, its my fault

Brooks: I just….I didn’t want to look pathetic to you, I didn’t want to be a joke

Lusi: why not?

Brooks: huh?

Lusi: you’re little gang is probably the funniest thing I’ve heard about in recent times, and that’s ok. I don’t need some big bad criminal to impress me, if you think I thought less of you because I found you funny you’re wrong. All I needed was for somebody to make me laugh

Brooks: well shit...if only you told me this earlier

Narrator: the two heard the guards pounding on the door, preparing to take it down  

Lusi: hey at least I got this

Narrator: she held up the ring

Brooks: heh, nice one

Lusi: want to enjoy it for the rest of our lives

Brooks: what do you mean

Narrator: lusi glanced at the building’s ledge

Brooks: oh….it would be my pleasure

Narrator: brooks placed the ring on lusi’s finger as the walked towards the edge, they locked hands, they kissed, and they leaned to the side. As they plummeted the embraced each other promising to never let go, and they fell, and fell, and fell, and fell

-------------------------------------

(womp)

Brooks: AGH….I’m not dead

Lusi: huh?

Brooks: WHAT 

Lusi: THE!

both: HELL

New york satan: correct, you’re in hell

Brooks: who are you supposed to be 

New york satan: the devil, or one of them anywa-- AH! MY BACK

Brooks: yesh, looks like you’ve seen better days huh big guy

New york satan: yer telling me! I’ve been in this job for almost 400 years

Brooks: seems like you could use a break

Lusi: or a retirement

New york satan: retirement sounds nice but there’s no demon in new york hell willing to take up the mantle of satan

Narrator: lusi and brooks grinned at each other

Brooks: what if there was a lets say young man who was willing to take this job off yer hands

New york satan: than I’ll give him my crown and staff on the spot and hop on over to the carribeans

Brooks: heh heh heh, where do I sign

New york satan: no where, get me out of here!

Narrator: he then took off his crown and threw it at brooks 

New york satan: I hereby call you the new New york satan

Narrator: and then he ran off

New york satan: (whispering) suckers

Brooks: new york satan

Lusi: doesn’t really have a nice ring to it if you ask me

Brooks: yeah...how about brooklyn satan

Lusi: oh that sounds way cooler

BS: brooklyn satan it is then

Lusi: well then “your majesty” what is your first thing you’ll do as satan

BS: I decree that a new castle shall be built, a castle to the ideals of brooklyn satan and princess lusi

Lusi: princess? Shouldn’t it be queen?

BS: ey we’re not married yet are we

Lusi: with this ring we could set it up soon

BS: holy shit you still have the ring? Okay then how about this, the castle will be built in the ideal image of brooklyn satan and currently princess soon to be queen...eh lusi

Lusi: we’ll work out the title later

END