Narrator: a young baunjovi was in the kitchen getting breakfast, ready to start the day, however while he sat down he looked into his mother’s garden and noticed something strange

Baunjovi: the fuck is that...holy shit its a kid! MA! EY MA!

Daisy: yeah!

Baunjovi: EY MA THERE’S A KID IN YER GARDEN

Daisy: WHAT

Baunjovi: I SA- oh my god MA I SAID THERE’S A KID IN THE GARDEN!

Daisy: THE FUCK!

Narrator: daisy then ran down the stairs

Daisy: show me

Narrator: baunjovi then pointed out the window

Daisy: jesus christ you’re right, I’ll take care of this

Narrator: daisy then went out into the garden to confront the boy, meanwhile baunjovi sat down on the couch to eat his breakfast and watch. After a minute or two daisy and the kid came inside

Baunjovi: so you’re the kid in the yard eh

Brooks: yeah, was that lady yer ma

Baunjovi: yeah that’s ma, what’d she tell ya to do

Brooks: clean myself

Baunjovi: do as you’re told then

Narrator: brooks went to the nearest bathroom to clean himself up and daisy left to try and get to the bottom of things, leaving baunjovi alone. Baunjovi waited outside of the bathroom wait for brooks to get out, which he eventually did

Baunjovi: aight, who are ya

Brooks: the name’s brooks, I live a few streets down

Baunjovi: watcha doin in ma’s garden

Brooks: I was hiding from my parents, they’re fucking crazy

Baunjovi: yeah and they’ll go crazy on you when we send you back

Brooks: what! No, you’re not gonna do that right? Please

Baunjovi: what do you think we’re gonna do, keep ya?

Narrator: just then daisy got back

Daisy: yeah you’re not going back to those nutjobs

Brooks: then what’s gonna happen to me

Daisy: you’ll stay here

Baunjovi: ma! You’re just gonna take some random stranger off the street

Daisy: well his parents are nutjobs and I know what it’s like to go through CPS, this is the best option

Baunjovi: ma can we even afford this

Daisy: I’ll make it work 

Baunjovi: whatever ma, you’re the boss…

Brooks: thanks lady, um what was yer name again

Daisy: its daisy

Baunjovi: and you’ll call her as such

Daisy: oh hush child, we’ll figure that out later

Baunjovi: fine

Daisy: I recommend you two get along, you’ll be sharing a lot from here on out

Baunjovi: mmmmmmm fine...stepbro

Brooks: thank you StEpBrO

Baunjovi: pfft aight that was kinda funny

Brooks: there ya go that’s the spirit

Narrator: three years later

Brooks: ugh I’m so hungry

Baunjovi: don’t remind me

Brooks: like what if we were to take some of that food there

Baunjovi: but uh aint stealing like a crime or something

Brooks: only if you get caught

Baunjovi: ah crist

Brooks: follow my lead

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi then stepped into the nearest gas station, brooks handed baunjovi a piece of string and headed in, meanwhile baunjovi sat there while holding the string until Brooks exited

Brooks: go!

Narrator: baunjovi pulled the string and dragged the chip bags out the door

Cashier: HEY!

Brooks: RUN!

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi then ran out of the store at top speed eventually outrunning the cashier with their bags full of chips in tow 

Baunjovi: don’t ever do it again

Brooks: come on bon bon, ya loved it

Baunjovi: not in the slightest

Daisy: ahem* what is that

Baunjovi: heh heh just some chips is all 

Daisy: and where did you get it from 

Baunjovi: we made some money begging heh and

Brooks: she’s not falling for this shit, ma we stole these

Daisy: HA HA HA HA

Baunjovi: ma...are you mad

Daisy: mad? I’m pissed, my two sons went out and stole chips from a gas station

Baunjovi: ma we’re sorry we--

Daisy: you two are such amateurs HA HA HA

Brooks/baunjovi: wut?

Daisy: my two boys, finally following in my footsteps 

brooks/baunjovi: WHAT!

Daisy: oh please, I sell fucking fruit for a living, you really think I could afford this house and raise you two on a fruit seller’s salary and “food stamps”

Brooks: how much have you stolen?

Daisy: HA HA HA HA HA…. it's all in savings

Baunjovi: what the hell ma...there’s no way you could steal that much by yourself

Daisy: bingo, if you two promise not to tell nobody I can take you to tonight’s meeting

Baunjovi: yer having a meeting?

Daisy: what did you think I did every other night 

Baunjovi: I thought you gossiped with the other moms or something

Daisy: no dummy, I was meeting with the bad apples 

Brooks: you guys got a name and everything

Daisy: you got it, I was planning on telling you eventually and well...yall started stealing so

Baunjovi: what do you want to do with these chips

Daisy: hey, if you’re smart enough to get away with stealing it, you probably deserve it

Brooks: sweet

Daisy: we leave in three hours, be ready

Baunjovi: brooks are you not a little put off by this

Brooks: hell no, a life of crime beats a life of hunger anyday 

Baunjovi: I guess so but… isn’t this wrong

Brooks: dying of starvation is wrong

Baunjovi: aight...I trust ya

Brooks: good, we don’t wanna have that attitude tonight who knows what’ll happen if ya start talking like that

Narrator: later that night, daisy took brooks and baunjovi to an abandoned building where they saw a bunch of men lounging around, playing poker, smoking or what have you

Daisy: oh BOOOOYS!

???: oi mate matha daisy’s here

Daisy: I brought pie

???: YES! I love daisy’s pi--- who are these blokes

Daisy: benjamin these are my two sons, meet brooks and baunjovi

Brooks: was good

Baunjovi: h-hi

Daisy: these two rapscallions are starting to follow in their mother’s footsteps

Benjamin: g’day mates, I’m benjamin welcome to the bad apples

Brooks: yeah boi

Baunjovi: thanks heh heh

Daisy: you two think you can steal like pros

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: maybe probably not 

Daisy: don’t show doubt now (rule number one of organized crime, don’t show doubt its a good way to get you shot)

Baunjovi: uh okay ma

Daisy: so I’m going to show you the ropes on how this gang works and teach you two how to rob like the best of em

Brooks: YES

Daisy: lets do this

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: yeah...I guess

Narrator: one year later

Daisy: alright is everybody here

Benjamin: yes maim

Daisy: alright then, let's get down to business then

Benjamin: OI CUNTS! WE ABOUT TO PLAN GET OVER HERE!

Narrator: the other men stopped what they were doing and gathered around a table

Daisy: so we’re gonna hit up that big mansion a few roads down, first we’re gon--

Sinbad: MISS DAISY!

Daisy: fuck

Narrator: the bad apples pointed their guns at the doorway

Sinbad: well well well, it seems you kidnapped our son, we’d like him ba--

Daisy: kill em

(POW) (POW) (POW) 

Narrator: sinbad dropped dead on the spot

Daisy: anyway let--

(POW) 

Narrator: a bullet flew through the window and into daisy’s skull

brooks/baunjovi: MOM!

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi ran to daisy’s body while benjamin took charge

Benjamin: RETURN FIRE

Narrator: the men shot a flurry of bullets through the window and into a feminine figure in the dark. After the figure dropped dead benjamin went over to the two kids

Benjamin: I’m sorry mate, who were those anyway

Brooks: my old parents, I ran from them a few years ago, that's how I found daisy

Benjamin: poor boy

Goon: what are we gonna do about the heist now?

Baunjovi: lets call it off

Brooks: no...I’ll lead in daisy’s place

All: WHAT!

Baunjovi: brooks are you insane

Brooks: we’re about to rob one of the biggest mansions on this side of the state, we’re all a little insane! So pass me some blueprints! Show me our supplies! And most importantly lets enjoy ma’s last pie together!

All: YEAH!

Brooks: LETS DO THIS! FOR DAISY!

All: FOR DAISY

Narrator: the next day

Baunjovi: brooks, help me

Narrator: baunjovi and brooks woke up at the bad apples meeting place and were reminded of what occurred last night

Baunjovi: ma always said that if she died she wanted to be buried in her garden, help me

BS: aight buddy, you got it

Narrator: the two of them dragged daisy’s body through the building, however before they could exit someone stopped them

Benjamin: the bloody ell are ya doing

Baunjovi: ma always wanted to be buried in her garden, so that’s what we’re gonna do

Benjamin: ya can’t just walk through the streets of new york carrying a body without people asking questions, let me drive ya

Baunjovi: thanks 

Narrator: benjamin pulled his car up to the building, they shoved daisy’s body in the back of his car and got in, they noticed a baby in a carrier in the front seat

Baunjovi: this your kid

Benjamin: yeah, its my daughter, sugar

Baunjovi: cute

Benjamin: yeah...cute

Narrator: benjamin drove them all the way to daisy’s house

Benjamin: aight mate, I’ll wait here, say your goodbyes and get what ya need, I doubt you’ll be coming back here, I got a shovel in the back you can use

Baunjovi: thanks

Narrator: baunjovi and brooks took daisy’s body out of the trunk and carried her into the backyard, brooks began digging with the shovel while baunjovi watched

Brooks: ey, I’m sorry about ma, it...it hurts

Baunjovi: more than you can imagine

Brooks: I know I seemed like I didn’t care last night but I just couldn;t let the others see me hopeless, somebody needed to keep things going

Baunjovi: whatever

Brooks: this deep enough?

Baunjovi: nah a couple more feet

Brooks: jesus

Narrator: brooks kept digging for about an hour until eventually they dug a grave deep enough to fit daisy

Brooks: aight, anything ya want to say before we finish here

Baunjovi: ma...I love you and it breaks my heart that I won’t be able to see you again. You were the best ma I could have ever asked for

Brooks: ya saved my life ma, and I couldn’t be more grateful. The fact that one person could do more good than three combined still baffles me. You may not be my birth ma, but I’m thankful to have had the privilege of living with you for the past 4 years

Benjamin: I have a few rods as well if I may

Narrator: benjamin was carrying sugar's carrier and was smoking on a cigar

Baunjovi: sure

Benjamin: hold these

Narrator: he gave BS his cigar and set sugar’s carrier on the ground

Benjamin: daisy, ye did so much for me, more than I can even say here. Just know that I am forever grateful for what you’ve done. Alright, I’ll take my things back

Narrator: benjamin put his cigar back in his mouth

Benjamin: come on, lets finish this before someone notices 

Narrator: twenty years later

Baunjovi: alright benjamin here’s your cut

Benjamin: the bloody ell is this! Ye halved me pay again

Baunjovi: its just this one time, brooks wanted to have a bit more money for his birthday tonight

Benjamin: WHAT ABOUT ME! I need the money to

Baunjovi: don’t worry you’ll get your normal cut again on the next payroll

Benjamin: you mean the pay brooks already cut to “improve the base”

Baunjovi: yes that

Benjamin: tell brooks he can go to hell

Baunjovi: noted, I’m assuming you’re not showing up to the birthday party tonight

Benjamin: hell no

Baunjovi: okay then, I won’t save you a seat

Narrator: a few hours later

Baunjovi: ey benji ya showed up after all

Benjamin: eh I thought I was being a little harsh earlier is all

Baunjovi: well we’re about to plan BS’s birthday heist if you wanna join

Benjamin: oh I do

Baunjovi: aight come with me

Benjamin: heheheh

Baunjovi: happy birthday brooks, what do you want to do to celebrate

Brooks: I want to hit up a mcdonalds, ya know go back to the training grounds

Baunjovi: nice, when do you want to go 

Brooks: tomorrow, we’ll hit up the one on main street 

Benjamin: we’re hitting up the mcdonalds on mainstreet tomorrow

Baunjovi: yeah, should be a simple walk in the park

Benjamin: nice, I’ll be there

Brooks: good to hear

Narrator: the next day

Brooks: alright everybody ready

Baunjovi: yep

Benjamin: ye

Brooks: baunjovi, cover the perimeter and keep lookout, benjamin, come in with me for crowd control

Benjamin: aye aye

Brooks: aight let’s get it

Narrator: benjamin and brooks went inside the mcdonalds, meanwhile baunjovi stayed outside and watched for cop cars or suspicious characters. While he was looking he heard gunfire coming from the restaurant, baunjovi looked inside to see brooks, benjamin, and an undercover officer having a shootout

Baunjovi: SHIT! They went undercover, I have to he--

(POW)

Narrator: benjamin fired one final shot into BS’s head. Benjamin was clearly injuried, however baunjovi shook with fear when he saw benjamin point in his direction

Baunjovi: OH FUCK

Narrator: baunjovi got into his car and slammed on the gas, as he drove off he saw the undercover officer holding benjamin and carrying him to his car

Baunjovi: the guy is gonna call for backup

Narrator: baunjovi made his way back to the base and swapped cars. He then drove off in a new getaway car.

Baunjovi: I’m sorry brooks

Narrator: 5 years later

Baunjovi: get me another one

Bartender: sir this is like your tenth shot of the night I’m getting uncomfortable

Baunjovi: ANOTHER ONE DAMNIT! 

???: hmhmhm

Baunjovi: WHO’S (HIC) LAUGHING!

Elizabeth: I am ya dit

Baunjovi: and who the hell are you

Elizabeth: the name’s elizabeth, and I’ve been having a ball watching you stumble over yourself all night

Baunjovi: shut up lady (HIC)

Elizabeth: you seem like a guy who loses often, wanna win for once

Baunjovi: (hic) yeah 

Elizabeth: come with me

Narrator: baunovi was led to elizabeth’s car and was driven to her house. The two got into a bedroom and undressed

Elizabeth: come on show me your a winner

Baunjovi: oh I’m a (hic) winner alright

Narrator: now I’m not allowed to make sexual references (new regulations suck)but I think we all know what happened from then on. 

(knock knock)

Elizabeth: oh shit

???: HONEY WHY IS THIS DOOR CLOSED!

Elizabeth: I’m uh...married

Baunjovi: WHAT THE FUCK LADY

???: WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!

Elizabeth: quick go out the window

Baunjovi: aight I’ll--

(CHOP CHOP)

Elizabeth: GO!

Narrator: baunjovi crawled out of the window 

Baunjovi: aint ya coming

Elizabeth: look at me I can;t fit through that

(CHOP)

???: WHAT THE FUCK

Baunjovi: shit

Elizabeth: I’ll figure something out 

Narrator: baunjovi ran from the house for a bit before stopping

Baunjovi: I can;t leave her there alone

Narrator: baunjovi ran to elizabeth’s car and broke in, he quickly searched the car and found a pocket knife, he pulled out the knife and ran back in, he crawled back through the window to find the room empty, the door had been chopped down, and there were signs of a struggle

Elizabeth: AHHGGH

(womp)

Narrator: baunjovi went into the room and made his way to the master bathroom where he saw what happened. elizabeth was dead, she was in the bathtub with a plugged in hairdryer in the tub with her, her husband was standing over her dead body holding an axe

???: so be it

Narrator: baunjovi pulled out the knife and crept up on the man, he poised himself to stab him in the back, he prepared to strike but suddenly the man turned around and clocked baunjovi in the head with the base of the axe

 ???: you should left when you had the ch-- AH!

Narrator: baunjovi stabbed  the man in the foot causing him to fall to the ground, baunjovi used this as a chance to escape. He jumped out the window, grabbing Elizabeth's keys in the process. Baunjovi jumped into elizabeth’s car and drove home. Baunjov went into his apartment building and broke down, he looked around the room cracking inside about his past. He saw a picture of daisy hanging on the wall, a newspaper with the headline “brooks down under”, and elizabeth’s car keys

Baunjovi: why...why do I kill everything I touch, ma, brooks, elizabeth. All dead, I should have talked ma out of what she was doing...I should have taught brooks better….I should have never broken that marriage...all I do is destroy...hell even this room….its destroyed 

Narrator: baunjovi went to his closet and pulled out a belt, he wrapped the belt around his ceiling fan, he wrapped the belt around his neck and looked to the floor

Baunjovi: let me kill one more thing...this one for the better

(cu clunk)

…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Baunjovi: (GASP) I can breathe… I can...breathe...where, where is my neck WHERE ARE MY ARMS, WHERE ARE MY LEGS, WHY AM I FLOATING! 

Issac_5: master it appears we have a new guest

Brooklyn satan: yeah I know I heard the screams too

Baunjovi: that voice? … brooks?

Brooklyn satan: BAUNJOVI! YOU DIED!

Baunjovi: where am I!

Brooklyn satan: you’re in brooklyn hell

Baunjovi: brooklyn hell?

Issac_5: yes, the district of hell formerly known as new york hell before coming under the rule of your friend here

Baunjovi: yer the devil?

Brooklyn satan: sweet huh? 

Baunjovi: I uh… don’t know what to say

Brooklyn satan: take baunjovi to one of the guest rooms, we’ll talk after you’ve adjusted

Issac_5: yes sir, right this way 

Narrator: isaac led baunjovi down a hallway and into one of BS’s rooms

Baunjovi: so who are you

Issac_5: I am Issac_5 the personal servant of brooklyn satan

Baunjovi: you mean brooks

Issac_5: that is his mortal name, only close friends call him that

Baunjovi: I know, I’m his stepbro

Issac_5: ah so your the “baunjovi” I’ve heard so much about, well I must say mr brooklyn satan has plans for your career

Baunjovi: career?

Issac_5: yes, for years mr brooklyn satan has called me his “left hand man” and has been waiting for you to arrive so that you can retain your role as his “right hand man”

Baunjovi: heh, brooks and baun baun back at it again

Issac_5: and Issac, I’m here too

Baunjovi: ey robo boy, get brooks in here. I’m in the mood for talkin

END