???: come on brooks I just wanna talk

(POW)

Brooks: AH!

???: you break my mother’s vase I break your FUCKING KNEECAPS!

(POW)

Narrator: brooks was running away from his drug infused parents who “overreacted” to brooks accidentally broke a family heirloom

(POW)

Brooks: AH!

Narrator: as brooks ran he came across a fenced in yard, he was well ahead of his parents and quickly came up with an idea to lose them, brooks picked up a rock and threw it several feet to his right causing the leaves to rustle when it landed 

???: this way

Narrator: while his parents were distracted brooks jumped the fence, he crawled through the yard until he came across a bush, he then got into what he thought was a safe and hid there for the night. He must’ve fallen asleep there because he woke up the next morning to the sound of yelling

Daisy: WHAT THE HELL!

Brooks: AH!

Daisy: who are you! And what are you doing in my garden

Brooks: my name’s brooks, and I was hiding from….nevermind

Daisy: you better spit it out child, I don’t take kindly to freeloaders

Brooks: my parents, they’re nuts! They were shooting at me with their guns and and

Narrator: it was at this point where daisy got a good look at brooks, he was dirty of course but under that dirt mother daisy could see the cuts, bruises and black eyes and started to believe the child’s claims

Daisy: wait aren’t you the child of those nutjobs a few streets down

Brooks: uh

Daisy: hold on a moment, get inside and clean yourself while I get to the bottom of this

Narrator: brooks headed inside the house to find someone else about his age sitting on the couch

Brooks: um….hi?

Baunjovi: so you’re the kid in the yard eh

Brooks: yeah, was that lady yer ma

Baunjovi: yeah that’s ma, what’d she tell ya to do

Brooks: clean myself

Baunjovi: do as you’re told then

Narrator: brooks went to the nearest bathroom to clean himself up, meanwhile daisy stormed her way over to brooks’s old home

(ding dong)

Sinbad: hello

Daisy: hey did you two lose a son recently, like he ran away and you can;t find him

Sinbad: yes, why

Daisy: I think I saw him 

Sinbad: really

Narrator: sinbad reached for something past the door, daisy couldn’t see it but knew from the cocking sound it made that it was a gun

Sinbaid: aim me in the right direction

Daisy: um… I saw him down...that way yeah heh

Narrator: sinbad left the house without a word carrying a pistol on his belt

Daisy: these people are nuts these people are nuts these people are NUTS!

Narrator: daisy drove back to her house to find a now cleaned brooks chatting with baunjovi

Daisy: yeah you’re not going back to those nutjobs

Brooks: then what’s gonna happen to me

Daisy: you’ll stay here

Baunjovi: ma! You’re just gonna take some random stranger off the street

Daisy: well his parents are nutjobs and I know what it’s like to go through CPS, this is the best option

Baunjovi: ma can we even afford this

Daisy: I’ll make it work 

Baunjovi: whatever ma, you’re the boss

Narrator: three years later

Brooks: ugh I’m so hungry

Baunjovi: don’t remind me

Brooks: like what if we were to take some of that food there

Baunjovi: but uh aint stealing like a crime or something

Brooks: only if you get caught

Baunjovi: ah crist

Brooks: follow my lead

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi then stepped into the nearest gas station, brooks handed baunjovi a piece of string and headed in, brooks guided the string under the shelves and made his way to the chips, he guided the string through the handles on the chip bags, after tying up 6 bags he left the store

Brooks: go

Narrator: baunjovi pulled the string and dragged the chip bags out the door

Cashier: HEY!

Brooks: RUN!

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi then ran out of the store at top speed eventually outrunning the cashier with their bags full of chips in tow 

Baunjovi: don’t ever do it again

Brooks: come on bon bon, ya loved it

Baunjovi: not in the slightest

Daisy: ahem* what is that

Baunjovi: just some chips is all 

Daisy: and where did you get it from 

Baunjovi: we made some money begging heh and

Brooks: she’s not falling for this shit, ma we stole these

Daisy: hehehehe HA HA HA HA

Baunjovi: ma...are you mad

Daisy: mad? I’m pissed, my two sons went out and stole chips from a gas station

Baunjovi: ma we’re sorry we--

Daisy: you two are such amateurs HA HA HA

Brooks/baunjovi: wut?

Daisy: my two boys, finally following in my footsteps 

brooks/baunjovi: WHAT!

Daisy: oh please, I sell fucking fruit for a living, you really think I could afford this house and raise you two on a fruit seller’s salary and “food stamps”

Brooks: how much have you stolen?

Daisy: HA HA HA HA HA…. it's all in savings

Baunjovi: what the hell ma...there’s no way you could steal that much by yourself

Daisy: bingo, if you two promise not to tell nobody I can take you to tonight’s meeting

Baunjovi: yer having a meeting?

Daisy: what did you think I did every other night 

Baunjovi: I thought you gossiped with the other moms or something

Daisy: no dummy, I was meeting with the bad apples 

Brooks: you guys got a name and everything

Daisy: you got it, I was planning on telling you eventually and well...yall started stealing so

Baunjovi: what do you want to do with these chips

Daisy: hey, if you’re smart enough to get away with stealing it, you probably deserve it

Brooks: sweet

Daisy: we leave in three hours, be ready

Baunjovi: brooks are you not a little put off by this

Brooks: hell no, a life of crime beats a life of hunger anyday 

Baunjovi: I guess so but… isn’t this wrong

Brooks: dying of starvation is wrong

Baunjovi: aight...I trust ya

Brooks: good, we don’t wanna have that attitude tonight who knows what’ll happen if ya start talking like that

Narrator: later that night, daisy took brooks and baunjovi to an abandoned building where they saw a bunch of men lounging around, playing poker, smoking or what have you

Daisy: oh BOOOOYS!

???: oi mate matha daisy’s here

Daisy: I brought pie

???: YES! I love daisy pi--- who are these blokes

Daisy: benjamin these are my two sons, meet brooks and baunjovi

Brooks: was good

Baunjovi: h-hi

Daisy: these two rapscallions are starting to follow in their mother’s footsteps

Benjamin: g’day mates, I’m benjamin welcome to the bad apples

Brooks: yeah boi

Baunjovi: thanks heh heh

Daisy: you two think you can steal like pros

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: maybe probably not 

Daisy: won’t show doubt now (rule number one of organized crime, don’t show doubt its a good way to get you shot)

Baunjovi: uh okay ma

Daisy: so I’m going to show you the ropes on how this gang works and teach you two how to rob like the best of em

Brooks: YES

Daisy: lets do this

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: yeah...I guess

Narrator: one year later

Daisy: alright is everybody here

Benjamin: yes maim

Daisy: alright then, let's get down to business then

Benjamin: OI CUNTS! WE ABOUT TO PLAN GET OVER HERE!

Narrator: the other men stopped what they were doing and gathered around a table

Daisy: so we’re gonna hit up that big mansion a few roads down, first we’re gon--

Sinbad: MISS DAISY!

Daisy: fuck

Narrator: the bad apples pointed their guns at the doorway

Sinbad: well well well, it seems you kidnapped our son, we’d like him ba--

Daisy: kill em

(POW) (POW) (POW) 

Narrator: sinbad dropped dead on the spot

Daisy: anyway let--

(POW) 

Narrator: a bullet flew through the window and into daisy’s skull

brooks/baunjovi: MOM!

Narrator: brooks and baunjovi ran to daisy’s body while benjamin took charge

Benjamin: RETURN FIRE

Narrator: the men shot a flurry of bullets through the window and into a feminine figure in the dark. After the figure dropped dead benjamin went over to the two kids

Benjamin: I’m sorry mate, who were those anyway

Brooks: my old parents, I ran from them a few years ago, that's how I found daisy

Benjamin: poor boy

Goon: what are we gonna do about the heist now?

Baunjovi: lets call it off

Brooks: no...I’ll lead in daisy’s place

All: WHAT!

Baunjovi: brooks are you insane

Brooks: we’re about to rob one of the biggest mansions on this side of the state, we’re all a little insane! So pass me some blueprints! Show me our supplies! And most importantly lets enjoy ma’s last pie together!

All: YEAH!

Brooks: LETS DO THIS! FOR DAISY!

All: FOR DAISY

Narrator: twenty years later

Reporter: it seems like the gang known as the bad apples have struck again this time clearing all the cashiers from a walmart before the cops could even arrive. Their crime spree is getting so out of hand that the authorities are issuing a million dollar reward for anyone who can bring the gang’s leader, Brooks Brokouski into police custody

Benjamin: (PSSHT) a million dollars 

Sugar: dad aint that your boss

Benjamin: yeah he is

Sugar: you gonna turn him in

Benjamin: hell yeah I am, I need that money damnit and brooks has been skipping out on my pay

Sugar: whatever dad

Narrator: that night

Baunjovi: happy birthday brooks, what do you want to do to celebrate

Brooks: I want to hit up a mcdonalds, ya know go back to the training grounds

Baunjovi: nice, when do you want to go 

Brooks: tomorrow, we’ll hit up the one on main street 

Benjamin: we’re hitting up the mcdonalds on mainstreet tomorrow

Baunjovi: yeah, should be a simple walk in the park

Benjamin: nice, I’ll be there

Brooks: good to hear

Narrator: while baunjovi and brooks planned out the next day’s heist benjamin went down to the police station

Operator: hello sir how may we help you

Benjamin: I got information on brooks

Operator: chief we got a guy in here that’s got info on that brooks guy

Chief: bring him in

Narrator: benjamin was directed to the chief’s office

Chief: so what do you have to say on brooks

Benjamin: first off I want to get things straight, if you guys catch him I get my million right

Chief: if you’re not lying to us yes

Benjamin: aight here’s the dealio, brooks and his mates are going to try and hit up the mcdonalds on main street, the perfect time to set up an ambush

Chief: what time

Benjamin: my sources didn’t say, they said sometime in the late afternoon

Chief: thank you, we’ll contact you about the reward when he is brought to justice

Benjamin: thanks mate

Chief: no, thank you

Narrator: the next day

Brooks: alright everybody ready

Baunjovi: yep

Benjamin: ye

Brooks: baunjovi, cover the perimeter and keep lookout, benjamin, come in with me for crowd control

Benjamin: aye aye

Brooks: aight let’s get it

Narrator: benjamin and brooks stepped inside, benjamin covered brooks’s back while he stepped towards the register

Brooks: you know what I’m here for don’t ya

Cashier: ye-yes 

Brooks: then why’s that register still closed

Officer: FREEZE!

Brooks: benjamin show him we mean business

Benjamin: oh I mean business

Brooks: what…

Benjamin: ye’ve been cutting me last paychecks short, don’t think I didn’t notice. And that million dollar reward is looking quite nice right about now

Brooks: daisy would be ashamed of you

Benjamin: she’d be ashamed of you for treating her men wrong

Officer: sir you are under arrest, put your hands in the air

Brooks: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

Narrator: brooks pulled out his pistol and fired at the officer and benjamin, hitting benjamin in the kneecap, they fired back hitting brooks multiple times until he dropped dead on the floor 

Benjamin: agh, when you meet daisy in hell AHH! Tell er I said hello

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brooks: AH! Where am I

New york satan: in hell

Brooks: hell!? Actually no that makes sense

New york satan: yeah it d-- AH MY BACK

Brooks: the fuck

New york satan: I’m almost 400 years old, my back is in constant pain

Brooks: sounds like you could use a vacation

New york satan: HA! More like a retirement

Brooks: well why not, I’ll take over for ya

New york satan: HA! Fat chance, like some newbie can handle the role of satan 

Brooks: dude I can push you over right now and break like half of your bones

New york satan: ah fuck it, I don’t want this stupid fucking job anymore, take it

Brooks: nice, so what does the ruler of hell do anyway

New york satan: you mean the ruler of new york hell right, there’s districts, and your instructions are in the manual

, it should be on the coffee table in the living room of the condo

Brooks: condo? Satan lives in a condo

New york satan: well what’d you expect a fucking castle

Brooks: you know what I like that idea, Imma build me a castle

New york satan: aight whatever you rule new york hell now

Brooks: I don’t like that name, Imma change it to...brooklyn hell

New york satan: so does that make you brooklyn satan then?

Brooklyn satan: hehehe hell yes it does

END