Narrator: our story begins with a young daisy

Error: so a seed

Error 0809: or maybe a sapling

Error: a bud perhaps

Narrator: I mean the person named daisy

Errors: yeah no shit!

Error 0809: were messing with you dummy

Narrator: can I just tell the story in peace

Error: say it with me now 

(gasp)

Errors: NO PROMISES HAHAHAHAHHA

Narrator: I hate you both

Error: aight we’re done you can continue

Narrator: thank you *ahem our story begins with a young daisy. At this point she is roughly 16 and has gotten into….well trouble

Daisy: go go go!

friends: we’re going as fast as we can!

Narrator: daisy and friends were running away from the cops, daisy had gone missing after running from her foster home roughly a week prior.

Daisy: alright looks like we’re gonna have to give em the scatter

Friends: ok

Daisy: 3...2….1 SCATTER

Narrator: the gang then split up, running in seperate directions to throw off the cops. Daisy was the one they were after so they followed her. Daisy led them into an alley where she was cornered 

Officer: come with us daisy, we don’t want to hurt y--

(CLUNK)

Narrator: two of daisy friends ran behind the cops and knocked them out with bricks

Daisy: lets get outta here

Narrator: the gang then ran off to their favorite hangout spot, an old abandoned building that had been out of commission for years

Daisy: that was a close one eh

Friend: yeah...so what are we gonna do? We’re out on the run from the cops, have no money, and live in...well this

Daisy: that’s why we gotta turn our traits, into our trade

Friend: the what now?

Daisy: we’re already on the run from the cops and we need to survive. And I think our best option is to steal

Friend: steal? Really, you’re going that low

Narrator: daisy gave her friend a scowl, she then moved her hair off of one of her eyes, revealing a black eye underneath

Daisy: its better than the alternative

Friend: alright alright I get it, so what are we gonna do first

Daisy: oh I’ll show you what

Narrator: 15 years later 

Daisy: alright bad apples, tonight we’re hitting up the airport

Friend: the airport? Why the hell are we robbing an airport

Daisy: because, there is a big fancy auction being held today and some of the richest people in the world are attending, and I want to steal some of their expensive luggage

Friend: if they’re so rich why don’t they have private jets

Daisy: this auction isn’t exactly erm...legal. And they want to keep a low profile by using public transport, after all an influx of private jet landings would look suspicious

Friend: okay, if you insist

Daisy: the flight lands at 9:00 PM, the luggage trolly is going to drive across the runway 5 minutes after initial landing, that will be when we strike

Friend: how are we gonna sneak onto a runaway...a well lit runaway

Daisy: we’ll cut the power, the lack of lights will prevent other planes from lifting off and will cause a panic, we’ll use the chaos to get away with everything we can carry

Friend: alright, lets do this

Narrator: that night

Daisy: alright, cut it

Narrator: one of the gangsters cut through entire web of wires, causing the lights on the runaway to go out 

Daisy: go go go

Narrator: daisy and a bunch of other gangsters ran onto the runaway to the luggage trolley, daisy knocked out the drive and dove into the luggage, throwing suitcases and other items to her friends

Daisy: this is going better th--

Narrator: just then something burst out of the luggage and pinned daisy down

Daisy: AHH!

Benjamin: YA GOTTA HELP ME MATE PLEASE

???: THERE HE IS

(POW POW POW)

Daisy: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!

Benjamin: I’ll explain in a bit but now’s a bad time

Daisy: fuck it GRAB A SUITCASE AND START RUNNING! AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU 

Narrator: the gang started to bail as men in the dark began to shoot at them. Daisy and crew managed to run off to their hideout, where they pinned benjamin to a chair

Benjamin: oi OI! Not so rough

Daisy: quiet y--

Narrator: benjamin reached under his coat and pulled out a baby, one that was clearly very young, he the began to rock and pat it

Benjamin: sorry about the inconvenience mate

Daisy: who the hell are you, and who was that shooting you, and why do you have such a young baby with you

Benjamin: the name’s benjamin. I got into some trouble with the mafia and had to flee me home country. This baby is the only member of my family that I could escape with

Daisy: really

Benjamin: yeah mate, those guys at the airport must’ve known I’d be there….can you please help me

Daisy: I’ll protect you IF you help me

Benjamin: what, ye need me to join yer gang or something

Daisy: yes, yes I do

Benjamin: sure mate, I’m down

Error: you mean down under

Error 0809: oh yer so bad

Narrator: shut up

Daisy: I also have some baby stuff at my house, my kids outgrew it and I don’t need it anymore

Benjamin: you have kids?

Daisy: ya, a pair of 8 year old boys, I don’t want them knowing about this life...yet

Benjamin: well yer secret's safe with me mate

Daisy: good, come with me

Narrator: daisy led benjamin to her car and drove him to her house

Benjamin: thanks again for helping us

Daisy: yeah yeah, I have a lot of sympathy for ya, I respect a parent who goes above and beyond for their kids

Benjamin: oh mate I’d lay down me life for this baby. She’s all I got left

Daisy: I wish my parents had that mindset

Benjamin: aye

Narrator: once at the house daisy parked her car in the driveway

Daisy: wait here

Benjamin: aye aye

Narrator: daisy then stepped inside to find baunjovi and brooks sitting on the couch and watching TV

Daisy: kids it midnight go to bed

Brooks: aww but the movie’s almost over 

Daisy: ugh, you know what I have one last trip to make, you have until I get back to get to bed

Brooks: ok

Baunjovi: ma where are you going in the middle of the night

Daisy: my friends are major night owls 

Baunjovi: oh...ok

Narrator: baunjovi and brooks went back to watching TV while daisy dug her old baby supplies out of her closet. And brought them to her car

Benjamin: thanks mate...do ye have any place where I can stay

Daisy: you can stay at the base, the fridge is stocked full, and you can use the fire pit for heat

Benjamin ok thanks 

Narrator: daisy then handed benjamin a 20

Benjamin: what’s this for

Daisy: the baby

Benjamin: alright mate

Narrator: daisy then dropped benjamin off at the base

Daisy: don’t make me regret this

Narrator: six months later 

Baunjovi: don’t ever make me do that again

Brooks: come on bon bon, ya loved it

Baunjovi: not in the slightest

Daisy: ahem* what is that

Baunjovi: just some chips is all 

Daisy: and where did you get it from 

Baunjovi: we made some money begging heh and

Brooks: she’s not falling for this shit, ma we stole these

Daisy: hehehehe HA HA HA HA

Baunjovi: ma...are you mad

Daisy: mad? I’m pissed, my two sons went out and stole chips from a gas station

Baunjovi: ma we’re sorry we--

Daisy: you two are such amateurs HA HA HA

Brooks/baunjovi: wut?

Daisy: my two boys, finally following in my footsteps 

brooks/baunjovi: WHAT!

Daisy: oh please, I sell fucking fruit for a living, you really think I could afford this house and raise you two on a fruit seller’s salary and “food stamps”

Brooks: how much have you stolen?

Daisy: HA HA HA HA HA…. it's all in savings

Baunjovi: what the hell ma...there’s no way you could steal that much by yourself

Daisy: bingo, if you two promise not to tell nobody I can take you to tonight’s meeting

Baunjovi: yer having a meeting?

Daisy: what did you think I did every other night 

Baunjovi: I thought you gossiped with the other moms or something

Daisy: no dummy, I was meeting with the bad apples 

Brooks: you guys got a name and everything

Daisy: you got it, I was planning on telling you eventually and well...yall started stealing so

Baunjovi: what do you want to do with these chips

Daisy: hey, if you’re smart enough to get away with stealing it, you probably deserve it

Brooks: sweet

Daisy: we leave in three hours, be ready

Baunjovi: brooks are you not a little put off by this

Brooks: hell no, a life of crime beats a life of hunger anyday 

Baunjovi: I guess so but… isn’t this wrong

Brooks: dying of starvation is wrong

Baunjovi: aight...I trust ya

Brooks: good, we don’t wanna have that attitude tonight who knows what’ll happen if ya start talking like that

Narrator: later that night, daisy took brooks and baunjovi to an abandoned building where they saw a bunch of men lounging around, playing poker, smoking or what have you

Daisy: oh BOOOOYS!

???: oi mate matha daisy’s here

Daisy: I brought pie

???: YES! I love daisy pi--- who are these blokes

Daisy: benjamin these are my two sons, meet brooks and baunjovi

Brooks: was good

Baunjovi: h-hi

Daisy: these two rapscallions are starting to follow in their mother’s footsteps

Benjamin: g’day mates, I’m benjamin welcome to the bad apples

Brooks: yeah boi

Baunjovi: thanks heh heh

Daisy: you two think you can steal like pros

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: maybe probably not 

Daisy: won’t show doubt now (rule number one of organized crime, don’t show doubt its a good way to get you shot)

Baunjovi: uh okay ma

Daisy: so I’m going to show you the ropes on how this gang works and teach you two how to rob like the best of em

Brooks: YES

Daisy: lets do this

Brooks: YES

Baunjovi: yeah...I guess

Narrator: one year later

Daisy: alright is everybody here

Benjamin: yes maim

Daisy: alright then, let's get down to business then

Benjamin: OI CUNTS! WE ABOUT TO PLAN GET OVER HERE!

Narrator: the other men stopped what they were doing and gathered around a table

Daisy: so we’re gonna hit up that big mansion a few roads down, first we’re gon--

Sinbad: MISS DAISY!

Daisy: fuck

Narrator: the bad apples pointed their guns at the doorway

Sinbad: well well well, it seems you kidnapped our son, we’d like him ba--

Daisy: kill em

(POW) (POW) (POW) 

Narrator: sinbad dropped dead on the spot

Daisy: anyway let--

(POW) 

-------------------------------------------------------------

daisy: *GASP WHERE AM I

New york satan: hell, you’re in hell

Daisy: what! How? I was just alive a second ago

New york satan: ya got headshot, ya didn’t see it coming

Daisy: but I have kids I have to go back to them

New york satan: yer acting like your the first parent to be killed in front of your kids, ever seen a disney movie it happens all the time

Daisy: please sir please take me back

New york satan: one doesn;t simply “come back” from a bullet to the brain

Daisy: there has to be something you can do

New york satan: yes there is, I can kick you outta here for wasting my time

Narrator: new york satan then grabbed daisy and threw her out of his apartment

Daisy: I’m sorry baunjovi, I’m sorry brooks. I hope to you I’ll always be

Error 0809: oh look she’s gonna say it

Mother daisy: your...mother...daisy

Error 0809: HA! Called it

Error: wow we really know how this guy writes don’t we 

Error 0809: correct, its almost as if we are also written by the same person

Error: woah...trippy

Narrator: can you two shut up so we can end this already

Errors: ok

END