Before anyone asks, im feeling kind of better right now

• What happened?

  My abusive mother forced me to cut my hair among other showings of abuse and basically cuts down at every form of gender affirmiveness i try to do. My hair was the only thing of my body i was truly proud of and i genuinely cried and pleaded for her to not do this to me, but she forced me to go to the barber shop and cut my hair. This led me into a downwards spiral and eventually led to me losing my shit and making all of those posts, and in about a few hours after that, once she started screaming at me for literally nothing as always, i eventually snapped and landed a punch square on her throat and kicked her leg (which wad undergoing recovery from her surgery). I then decided to take a break from gamejolt due to the constant toxicity i endured (directed to me or others) and how much heavy lifting i'm forced to do for multiple of my friends and even some people who consider me as enemies (if you want elaboration, talk to me on instagram, steam, or my secret social.)

• Relapsing?

  I self harmed, which was the last straw on the camel's back. I'd been clean for nearly 10 months, and seeing all of that go away after the rush of self-hating pleasure made me spiral even further down the rabbit hole.

• How are you now?

  I can't say i'm doing perfect, especially due to me undergoing some stress due a certain "other me" and having to deal with some of my pther friends' problems but i've been doing somewhat better. Currently at my grandmother's and after giving her a taste of her physical and mental abuse, my mother has started being somewhat nicer to me.

• When will you he back?

  I don't know. A month or so? Depends. Seemingly this place is somehow even more toxic than ever, so... yeah. Byerrivederci!