I feel bad bc I'm drifting away from four of my closest friends but like they hurt me, and I don't want them to hurt me again so maybe if I start getting colder they can't hurt me again, even if they doesn't mean to hurt me they still do it without realizing, and like, I know they aren't doing it on purpose and doesn't know that their hurting my feelings, and tbh I'm not really telling them bc I don't know if they will understand and I just genuinely been acting different to them then others, and I don't let one of em' call me by Kai anymore, since it's my nickname, I also hate when that one calls me "vro" it makes me uncomfortable, and I feel bad for getting colder but like, I don't know, I don't trust them anymore tbh. I have kinda stupid reasons I guess but I just don't wanna be hurt by somebody I love leaving, so if I start being colder or like less me around em' because maybe if they does hurt my feelings again it won't hurt as bad, even if they don't realize or know their hurting my feelings since I won't tell them anymore, because not many people seem to actually care, especially since one isn't the only one to hurt me and not notice, so I'm just going to keep my most important feelings from them and some others from now on, it's exactly what those four seemed like they wanted anyways.