I think i have spent enough time on the internet to realise how brutal and unforgiving people can be here. I do not call my self a good guy, im just human being who made mistake and i regret it. Even if i did do improvemenets and apologized for my past behaviour, there are a few people who target me and my friends to ruin whatever we do. Some of my friends had to do hard choices to make sure my haters wont cause any issues with them so they restricted contact with me. Even if it hurts, I accept that because I love my friends and i wish them the best. I caused some small talk on GJ, where people were finding out why bad i am and i understand why i did wrong in the past.

The current issues is that people are not leaving me a chance to change for the better and try to fix this situation. People who were offended by my behaviour never talked to me about it, never tried to tell me what i did wrong and give me a hand to improve. I had to find it the hard way and i get it. Those people would like to see me out of GameJolt, or internet in general but... i will not go away. I recognize that me deleting GJ profile, the projects and vanishing from existance isnt the right way to deal with hate, ddos and trolls. I got my group of followers who do not find me bad and enjoyed my games. I just want to thank them all, everyone who followed me and supported.

I just got... betrayed so many times, i saw so many awful things, unjustice withing the community i am where i get punished for things others dont - i just feel broken, i am upset.

I don't want you to view this as a common weakness, like many people would ussually presume because if you see someone complaining, "crying" on a post it means they just doing for pity and attention. In my case it's because i feel truly stressed out with so much going on, so much hate i have gathered around me as a person, i just really can't hold it inside.

I plan to use less social media, try to focus on improving my skills as developer, work on art and 3d. I will be posting from time to time to share what we got but all i wanted to let you know that i am not ok, at least you can understand that from this post. Next time i will just share things related to the work and no more personal things maybe... trolls and haters use that against me, to find an effective way to make me sad and angry. So they got to my friends now. That means i have to change something.

(PS things got worse enough to think about the S word almost everyday, but i want to believe that god can give me another chance to have a brighter future.)