after i told my parents ab my suicidal thoughts, they tried shifting the blame onto me and telling me what I could’ve done better.

they’ve only treated me worse since.

my mom snaps at me more. my stepdad yells at me more.

and I’ve been noticing smth.

whenever my stepdad yells at my brother or storms past me chasing my brother or spanks my brother, i feel my body tense up and I make myself as small as possible. and i get rlly scared too.

he used to hit me when i was younger as well, and it’d always hurt like hell.

is this trauma….?

and they’ve destroyed my self esteem. i feel worthless. unloveable. stupid. bitchy. ugly.

i hate being here.

sometimes i feel like I can’t breathe. my chest and throat closes up and i cry.

i cry almost every night. always only from my right eye. never my left.

sorry.