if it was that easy to get a semi-massive following then how come i havent seen any wattpad stories about any of my productions? how come whenever i search dee4 on deviantart the only things that show up are either my offical artwork or just irrelevant junk?! how am i not on the same ranks as HJFONE or whatever gobbely gook those tumblr-twitter dopes are consuming? What is this sorcery?!

the most i've gotten in terms of fame was with Sugaku and that clearly wasn't enough. it definitely wasn't enough, and zokuhens doing less than smp.

Where does one go to find success? is it random, if the nature of the universe is random, wouldnt fame find us all? and if so, has it arleady reached me? have i reached the pinical of what i've done?

Did my success dimish already? i remember the ol' days of 2020 when i was collaborating with everyone and i was makin' it big. BBRMS, BBCCS, Retro's Basics, all those classics i had some influence in.

Nowadays whenever i attempt something new, whether it'd be videos games and or modded games, it gets somewhere around 10K views, or 10...

Was my fame, short-term? is there anyway i can prolong it long-term? i tried before, i tried applying for different potentially-successful productions, but those never end up seeing the light of day.

Will i ever be as successful as sprunkli n' crew?

All they did was be in a beepbox mod and they got famous, why haven't i gotten famous? is it all selective, could it be the workings of a bunch of Algorhithms, controlling what people see and what people dont see?

Every big thing now its all the same slop, Innoncent looking fellas that end up being all Scary and shit, its all so predictiable now a days, and thats also counting the rise of Mascot Horror, y'know the ones, bendy, poppy, rainbow friends, piggy, etc.

Meanwhile i try to be original, i make things unlike nothing else, stuff that is small in terms of quanitity, but the best of quality, like think about it, Addon's to baldi's basics plus that include a wide vibrant array of content? Thats something you dont see everyday, Times had it good, then smp took over, and it did well, and now its everywhere on gamebanana, Its the next generation, I influence modding in more ways the one, I was one of the first people to decompile the game and edit it, I was one of the first big-time plus modders, I tried countless times to make new stuff to entertain your gullets, but each time it never succeds, or it succeds but only for a short amount of time.

Its like it's all becoming a dead horse, slowly decaying, no longer viable, but that dosent stop me from presuing in my destinies, what can this do what can't it do? how can i make that much different? expireming again and again, pushing the ideas, Sentient Magnets that suck in everything in its path, Electricy balls that shoot sparks out itself that you can collect and gain from, The possiblites are endless and yet.

Never get anywhere.

im sure that one day, it'll all be worth it, and i will receive my time in the spotlight, but not just a localized spotlight, im talking Murder Drones-levels of fame, im talking in the same ranks as DSaF and MDP.

Im sure that one day, i'll finally get my time to shine, my time to bask in the limelight, to entertain the masses, to usher in a new era of fun and creativity to those inspiring.

It'll be worth it in the end.... it will all be worth it...

anyways i should stop yapping this went from a hot-take to a existential crisis about fame and shit, and how random the nature of the universe truly is.