I’ve been lecturing a stuffed toy for nearly an hour on how I’ll never get to see my cat again, and how I will never forgive myself for not being there for her.

I stroked it, a cheetah plushie, and it was soft but still a little rough, just like her. I picked it up, hugged it, it was very light, just like her.

Like-

Everyone else seems to already be over it. Everyone else seems to just be able to cry it all out in one go. But I can never let this go, I can never forget her.

It wasn’t just any pet dying. My sister got her before I was born, so from the second I was born she’s been in my life.

She’s literally a part of me.

This is tearing me apart.

My mum made a joke and said “hah, you’re more sad about a CAT dying than if I died!”

Yes. Yes I am. Animals mean more to me than anyone seems to understand. Pets don’t judge. They don’t get angry at you. They don’t break your heart. They don’t hurt your feelings. If you’re down, they will always let you relax with them. They won’t always understand, but they’ll still be there for you. You’re part of their pack.

I can’t take it.