Death hits us all, death forever hits us all, and will continue to hit us all for as long as the human race continues on until we are all wiped out by our sun, wiped out by the heat death of the universe, or any mass death cause. The mental effects of death will also continue on until that day until desensitization occurs, and that's the state I reckon I'm in right now, after losing both of my siblings to my mother very early on in my teenage years to late early childhood years and slowly losing every member of my family since then, except my mother, we still have no idea what's been up with her at the moment.

It got to such a point that whenever I heard that someone died, like a friend or something, I would be completely monotone throughout the funeral, and when I got the news, I would just say, "Well, there's another one gone." Whether it be to suicide or not, I slowly started realizing that this behavior isn't normal even remotely, so this is when I finally got a therapist, after I felt slightly better, my therapist thought I was ready for society again and I was thrown back in without a therapist, ready for the same cycle to keep occurring, it always felt like whenever I'd meet someone, they'd be killed off in only a few short months to years, and I never once realized that cycle until I concluded the therapy stage of my life, realizing that me being friends with someone was dangerous, I completely distanced myself.

I have felt no peace since then.

I have turned to recreational drug use and alcohol, this only started happening when I was 25, I overdosed countless times, and my last overdose was such a massive overdose that I finally decided rehab was my best option, it took me 6 years to get out of doing drugs, and finally start communicating with others like a normal human being again, and I eventually found a man named "Ethan" and he was and still is the sweetest guy, after a while we started a relationship, and we're still trying to figuer out where it goes, we have a child on the way, and I've never truly felt happy in my life ever since my two siblings died, one from my hands, but when I found out I had a child, I was shocked... but unbelieveably happy. I can't wait to see what this chapter brings me, what emotions come from it, and how much more happy I will become from bringing life into this world.

There is one thing though.

It's felt like I've been stalked the entire time, you know what? Not felt, I AM being stalked, I saw out of the window when I was alone admiring my stomach for a short moment just looking at my soon to be born child when I saw something out of the corner of my eye, it had two glowing eyes and was in the shape of an animal robot, I was definitely chalking it up to being a vision to scare me, as only I know about my past experiences with those, but this one felt real, I saw it running away from me, I saw it's shadow, I saw the blip between the eyes and the window, I KNOW what I saw, I was tempted to go to the police about it, but they would've thought I turned to substance abuse again. I don't know what to do, I feel in danger.

• Michelle Brooks