I don't like Aizyn. And you may be saying, "But aren't you Aizyn, Maxx?" No. Atleast not emotionally and mentally. Aizyn is just me having mirrored well-liked people's personalities on here. I'm not Aizyn. Never could be. Aizyn is.. I don't know what Aizyn is. I couldn't ever be Aizyn. I want to be Aizyn, trust me, Aizyn's liked.
But I don't like Aizyn. Because Aizyn is slowly turning into me. And I don't want to go dry again, I don't want to be disliked, I don't want people to just move past my posts. I want to be loved. And I know it's selfish and manipulative, to switch personalities just so you're liked, but I do it anyways. I want to be liked. But with how I'm getting more into life instead of you all, Aizyn's turning into Maxx. And I don't want Aizyn to become me.
Because Aizyn's liked. I want to be Aizyn. But I can't fully be Aizyn until I can forget myself. But I don't want to forget myself. But I want to be Aizyn. I want to be cared for, even if it's online. I want to stop manipulating people into thinking I'm someone else. I'm tired of even faking a happy personality with my best friend, she deserves to see the real me, as nasty as I can be, because she's the best thing that's happened to me. But it's not working. I can't be myself, without mirroring Aizyn over and over again. But I don't want to stop. I just want to really be Aizyn. Not faking my personality.
0 comments