Do any of you have an archive of the callout post buster so i can give my full 2 cents on it (the closet i have this person shouting at me about some stuff but it doesn't say all of it). if not here is a post that covers what i think would have been on it anyways:

https://gamejolt.com/p/self-discovery-final-repose-apology-for-everything-5uzf5j99

TDLR to that post: the thought of me being a utter monster was a fight or flight panic attack and i got help.

Now i will cover some things that MIGHT have been in the post.

1) As for me not being a good partner... yeah i was shitty, i didn't know how relationships worked at all, i did some things that i did in a past relationship (i.e sex jokes and asking about dick size[one of the only things i know was talked about in there thx to that person that shouted at me) but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that didn't work out at all. in fact i might not ever be ready for another relationship, and thats ok. also another thing i saw porn at WAY too young of an age, so i am likely WAY too hyper sexual for my own good, that is a flaw that i will 100% confirm as true. also it was a LDR (and a fan x content creator relationship) witch last time i checked those dont work out at all a lot of the time (also my relationship before hand also was a LDR just to note here)

2) the rest are likely stuff i had

A) done ages ago or

B) weren't meant to be malicious, i was (and still am to some extent) a fucking idiot.

now if you did read through the link to the "this person" thing then yeah you saw i DID had sexual desires with a fucking mannequin hanger after my break up.

to keep it short i dont have the healthiest of coping mechanisms, if fact thats why i used some of my friends (and buster) as therapists, i thought thats how partners worked and also another thing is that i have autism and sometimes it makes me think stuff that while i think mean one thing, dont or (i think will be even MORE of a reason why this shitshow happend) hard to tell what a person is feeling sometimes (doesn't help when its on text [not saying use tone indicators in every text you write but there is a reason why some people may need them])

now for another thing that kinda pissed me off (you can skip this part it's just me venting about spilled milk and being a tin foil hatter over gamejolt shouts)

when i checked to Clubbo's profile i saw that he removed a shout of mine, and it was a shout of me asking him if he was friends with a pedo i had an encounter with (that fucker is galaxy83 btw) yet the shout where i showed some odd lore is still there, im not sure if thats just Gamejolt being dumb or not, but if buster said something about me being worse then galaxy83 or said i was lying in my expose doc on him, if thats the case, then buster WTF. you helped me through that situation and you know it. if you think im worse i am STILL A MINER AND WAS ONLY A YEAR OLDER THEN YOU

Galaxy83 on the other hand was an adult (19) who ERPED with ME (and 17 year old) and also unlike him i got helped and DIDN'T ACT ON MY DISGUSTING THOUGHTS, Galaxy83 did act on those thoughts and guess what, he rightfully got his ass thrown out of the fnati community. so yeah if it turns out i am just being a tin foil hatter and nothing was mention i will edit this to remove the parts where i say Buster is calling me worse then or lied about Galaxy83.

(PART YOU CAN SKIP IS OVER)

TLDR: i wasn't a good partner and i wasn't really a good person but i have gotten help (both from therapist and family) and i am doing my part to be a better person, has i did see at least a few people blocked me over this so, if you have and read this all the way through, it's up to you on if you want to unblock me or not (if not that is a okay).

also for few last things (+ a bit of self promo lol)

i might be done with fnati, at least for a while when the game i am working with @ObscureOasis (that is game is Nightmare Beyond Newgrounds) is done. It's All Me (I AM SEGA FNATI MIX) has a 50/50 chance of being cancelled due to

1) being stuck on some parts and

2) not being happy with how it is turning out so far.

it is somewhat due to this whole thing but also kinda losing hope in fnati at this point (i.e games being the same goddamn thing mechanic wise or not being made at all)

now as for Buster, i tried to talk to you about all this, i tired to somehow make it so we at least dont hate each other and just go back to being fan and content creator (not even being friends).

also if you will stop bring up YonKaGor (or how ever you spell they're name i forgot)

1) thx for ruining them for me and

2) for the last time i am NOT HYPOCRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SEX JOKES: i thought Mello was pissed off at the joke Yon made, so i was pissed, now that i know that Mello was in on it and that they live together, the joke Yon made is funny, simple as that.

so yeah its up to you on if you will forgive me or not but at least i hope we can just not hate each other and dig a hole to the Earth's core to throw the hatchet in, forgetting about this as a whole.

this is my 2 cents on this whole thing (again couldn't get to see the full call out post so this is the best i can do in terms of a post.

thank you so much and have a great day - Budie :>

(i will make updates to this post if necessary)