Ever since I got out of a low-key toxic irl relationship I've been on and off tweaking. I'm mad tweaking tonight like what happened to positive energy? like no I want her to feel how she made me feel. karma is taking too fucking long to work I need to see them feel how I fucking felt that whole week with them. I want what the emotions did to me physically to be in the light. I do have a lot of emotional problems, piled onto that with medication. fuck I have therapy tomorrow and I'm literally already crashing out. i genuinely don't even know what she's like right now or how she took anything or if she even understands all the things she did to me and how they made me feel but I genuinely just want these feelings to stop, I was at peace but now I'm fucking not, my brain has me too curious on how she feels. I want my things back so bad, but what if I am a villian in her story? did she take any thought towards me? i don't know but I want to be free I want to move on past this stupid shit. Maybe it wasn't even as bad as it seemed to me and maybe I just took things the wrong way? But she still lied to me, she still hurt me, she still hid things from me, called me a couple of things and treated me overall like shit for weeks before I finally lost all hope for that person. I should've left so much sooner, the thoughts I had about randomly disappearing from their life I should've 100% acted on. I'll be brutally honest, I've had terrible SH lately and it's affected how I can live my life, what clothes I can and can't wear now. I don't like when people come on here and talk about sh, I feel terrible about myself enough to even talk about it in this. It only took a couple of months of torture and it lead to hundreds of marks on my body that I now have to permanently live with. I just want to feel okay and secure again.