I was a Christian since birth up until 11 when i came out as non binary, my family told me Jesus was going to send me to hell and i had to leave that behind or else. And it drove me mad for a good 2 years and my SH got sm worse, i thought me hurting myself would make up for me being lgbtq.

And i kept getting paranoid throughout the day about how something bad might happen and god is coming to take me/ kill me. And this freaked me out sm i thought that becoming a satanist would save me. And i was actually really devoted to it, sm so i asked for a pentagram necklace and i drew a giant pentagram on my door. (Its still there just now without the circle part) and i started cutting more and more often and more deep "for satan" and i thought he loved me amd had my best interest. And the "putting blood on paper" was going on when i was in the hospital. Once the nurses saw me and pulled me aside and asked me what i was doing and i gave a batshit crazy answer. All ik is that im finally out of it and im okay now.