8 hours ago

The script for my Sonic fanfilm thus far. Please give constructive critism.


The film opens on the ruins of a destroyed egg-pire, grass growing on what was once a beautiful city.

Amy (narrator): For 6 months, a war was waged between the mad scientist Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik, and the humans and mobians, the innocent people of this planet. Robotnik used a gem known as the phantom ruby, a relic that could alter reality to shift the world in his image. Not only that, but he had combined the ruby with a living being, Zero the jackal, now known as Infinite. But after we won the war, the ruby and Infinite disappeared without a trace

Suddenly the peace is interrupted by Robotnik tearing through the rubble.

Eggman: All forces full power! The phantom ruby is around here somewhere! I’m not letting those meddling rodents get to it first!

The robots ravage and tear apart the city in searchfor the fabled gem, until…

Eggman: Hehehe… Bingo! Eggman points towards the sound of the magic gem.

The film cuts to Infinite, the right hand man of robotnik during the war trapped in Null space, a dimension created by Infinite. Infinite wakes up as Eggman activates the Ruby that brings infinite back to this world, The gem surging power through Infinite.

Infinite: Doctor! Heavy breathing The ruby, is siphoning power throughout my body… I know I failed you before, I was weak, but this time we will rebuild OUR GLORIOUS EMPIRE!

Eggman: Who said anything about “we?”

Robotnik RIPPED the gem out of Infinite's chest causing Infinite to scream in pain, and for Orbot and Cubot to watch in horror.

Eggman: It was nice catching up, but I’ll be taking my leave… Metal Sonic! Dispose of this worthless trash.

Metal Sonic and a set of eggpawns surround Infinite.

Despite the Jackal being outnumbered, and overpowered, he was able to stand head to head with the robot army. Eggman took note of this. As Metal Sonic was about to deal a killing blow Infinite’s connection to the phantom ruby caused Infinite to have a surge of power, knocking Metal Sonic to the floor, and impressing the not-so-good doctor.

A couple seconds of silence pass as Infinite regains himself.

Eggman: Perhaps I’ve judged too quickly, you’re just as powerful you were a year ago. Re-join the Eggman empire, help me conquer the world. You’ll have infinite power with the phantom ruby. You will RULE the world as you did before. But you fail me again, you’ll be meeting the Jackal squad again…

Infinite: I understand…

Eggman: Good…

Infinite: So, what’s our first plan of action?

Eggman: Hehehe… We harness the power of the phantom ruby to power my portal generator… We use it to not only conquer this world, but other worlds as well! Lost Hex, Little planet, Planet Wisp! The sky’s the limit! But you, I need YOU to deal with Sonic and his friends so I can take over.

Eggman activated the phantom ruby to create a portal into his base of operations, taking Infinite and his army with him. A couple of Eggpawns pick up Metal Sonic and take him with him.

The camera pans to the sky as a cover of the movie’s theme plays, and the title drop appears.

The camera cuts to Sonic on a building getting a call from Lanolin

Lanolin: Sonic? SONIC? Do you copy? There’s been a robbery in the National Bank of Station Square! Are you in the area!?

Sonic: Don’t worry, Lan! Tails, Amy, and I can deal with it.

Sonic walks to the edge of the skyscraper.

Sonic: So what’s the sitch? Babylon rouges? Hooligans? Someone new?

Lanolin: It’s those Skunks who keep rhyming everything,

Sonic: Rough and Tumble? No problem!

Lanolin: They were last sighted using some kind of super weapons.

Sonic: Heh, sounds like a challenge!

KSSHHHK

Sonic: Hey Tails! Think you and Amy could shoot by speed-highway and fly me to the Station Square Bank? Rough and Tumble are at it again.

Tails: Those guys? Well Sonic, we’re in the area, speeding towards you now.

Sonic: Rodger that.

KSSHHHK

Tails: HOLD ON TIGHT AMY!

The film starts cutting from Tails going at hyper speeds, to Sonic waiting on the tower. Sonic suddenly jumps off the roof, doing a spin and winking at the camera. Tails catches him in a split second as Sonic grabs onto the wings of the plane,

Catch me if you can from Sonic riders plays as soon as Sonic grabs the wing. The opening credits.

Sonic jumps off the plane and lands in front of the bank,

Tails land the plane nearby and flies over with Amy in hand

Sonic: Let’s do this.

Rough and Tumble broke out of the bank holding bags of money, and a chaos emerald. The blue one.

Sonic: “Sorry to crash the party! But you two are done for!”

Sonic Tails and Amy enter a battle against Rough and Tumble, who are acting uncharacteristically quiet. They end up dropping the chaos emerald, one of Infinite’s portals grabs the emerald while they 5 are fighting.

The battle ends with the Skunks suddenly coming to their senses and realizing where they are.

Rough: “What the- how did we get here?

Sonic does a homing attack into Rough, as Amy and Tails tie up tumble.

The film cuts to outside the bank as a few police officers take Rough and Tumble away

Rough: Hey! You can’t lock us away! We didn't even do anything!”

Tumble: We were framed!

Cop: scoffs Yeah right! Tell it to the judge.

Lanolin, now in person, has a talk with the trio.

Lanolin: And… you said the chaos emerald just… disappeared?

Sonic: We checked. There’s no sign of it anywhere.

Tails: “In addition, I can’t seem to find a signal of it on the Miles electric…

Lanolin: sighs “Do you have any idea where it went?

Tails: “Well, no… it’s… bizarre…”

Sonic: Something’s clearly going on here.”

Amy: “What do you mean?”

Sonic: I mean Rough and Tumble were being uncharacteristically quiet. They didn’t do their little “Dr. Seuss” rhyming schtick. Then all of a sudden they start acting normal? On top of that, the chaos emerald disappearing without a trace? Yeah, something else is going on.”

Lanolin: “Do you think it’s Eggman?:

Tails: “Maybe, but Rough and Tumble said they wouldn't work for people like Eggman…”

Sonic: Maybe Eggy has some kind of mind control device, like Starline?

Tails: “I guess that’s possible… but…”

Sonic: “But…?”

Tails: “Did you notice their eyes?”

Amy: They were glowing red. So?”

Tails: “It’s just… I feel like I’ve seen something like it… yet, I can’t seem to put my finger on it…

Lanolin: “Well, I’ll try and get the Chaotix on it.”

Sonic: “Don’t sweat it, we’ll shoot em a call. You should get back to the restoration.”

Lanolin: Sighs “Thank you Sonic, I’ll get back to it…”

The scene switches to Vector jamming to some music before he gets a call

Vector: “Chaotix detective agency! We’re detectives you want on your side! What can I do for you?”

The scene scrolls to the second floor as Espio tries to contact Silver on his computer.

Espio: “Come on, pick up, pick up…”

Silver: “Hello?”

Espio: “Ahem, greeting Silver, I called to see if you were interested in some combat training activities. My plans were to visit the nearby mountains by restoration HQ, as we participate in combat rituals to strengthen our skills and our bonds.”

Silver: “Oh, Well… Heck yeah!”

Espio: “Then it is settled. I’ll be there by 10:00.”

Silver: “Ok! See ya soon!”

Espio clicks off the call

Espio: “Yes! I did it!”

Charmy: “Gee, I didn’t know you were such a tryhard!

Espio: “Gah! Uhh… how much did you hear?”

Charmy:



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