I made such a big deal about getting a s/o to the point that I was considering doing very frowned upon things (no, not self-harm) and almost entirely ignoring the fact that I had friends at all.

Now that I've actually got one, it's really not all that it's cracked up to be. She isn't really on that often, and there's not much I can do about it. Of course, I still love her to bits, but it's just I don't spend as much time with her as I want to.

I just kinda wish I could get back that time I spent loathing about not having a s/o, I pushed away my friends and every other moment I had on GJ was just me talking about how I wanted one.

I'm a mess.