I'm so done with everything. I'm years behind in anything I enjoy. Piano? I would've known how to read music if I'd signed up for band. I can't even play anything actually good. Horse riding? Can't even ride a damn horse. And, the kicker is i should've started at five. I don' even have a horse right now. There are girls younger than me, and competing better than adults. I just wanna go home. He wonders why I shut him down when that's the only thing he taught me. I miss my old life. I miss the before. I wanna go back to when I was happy, and grandpa wasn't dead, and I had good, steady freinds. I just wanna go back and live in the peace. I hate it here. I so tired of hating everything. I want to stop feeling like I don't deserve to cry, and that im just being a wuss. I'm so tired of convincing myself that I'm okay and that I haven't been through enough to be as messed up as I am. I'm so tired...