i cant beleive his, i've been booted from my favorite plus modding server, all because i, i, i majorily goofed.

people were made aware of a bunch of exaggerated lies and misconceptions about me due to the dumb shit i did back in 2022 and 2023.

i had potential, i really did

i had so much potential to be so much more better.

but i just had to throw it all away because of a bunch of stupid stuff i did years ago, why did i do this to myself, why did i let this get out of hand?! WHy couldnt i have properly responded!?!?!?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

if i could i wouldve told 2023 me to not do waht 2023 me did.

had i not done the shit that i had did all that time ago i wouldnt be in this mess, i woudlve been RESPECTED.

its too late to let this slide by my radar, too late for any action, what has been done has been done.

I could not think of a good way to respond, the stress was building up, legit i was on the verge of leaving to take some time, but it appears shit has gotten worse.

i blew it, i fucking blew it, i tried my best to hopefully calm the waters, but the storm rages on.

i hate past me.

i really do, i tried improving myself but the shitstorm that ensued these past weeks have taken a toll on me, i was stressed, i was worried somthing like this would happen, i tried so many times to calm things down, but to no avail.

i'll try to think of something that'll hopefully put an end to this once and for all.

just needed a place to release my raw feelings, dumping it all out.