I think I speak for everyone here when I say

It is very exciting to be in a room with you Mr. Tolkien (okay)

We loved publishing The Hobbit

Can you tell us a bit about this next book?

It's about a magic ring (yeah?)

Given to an heir (yeah?)

Who must destroy all evil (yeah?)

On a magic quest

What happens next

They walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk

Somebody's following them!

Walk, walk, hide, walk, walk, walk

Steal some mushrooms!

Get on a boat

Walk, walk, walk

Elves for the first time (wow!)

Walk, walk, nighttime walk, walk, walk

Attacked by trees!

Okay, uhm

That's a lot of walking

I'm not a third of the way through!

Walk, walk

Meet a weird bush guy!

Walk, walk

Finally, a town!

Safe, safe, eat, rest

Show everyone their secret

(Get the fuck out of there!)

Run, run!

They got a new tall guy!

Run, scared!

Stabbed by a dementor!

Ride, run, run, ride!

(Dementors can't swim!)

Fuck back to Azkaban!

Okay, well that seems like a good place to end it

We'll publish it

I'm almost halfway!

Rest, rest

A bunch of elves

They've seen elves before

But now they've got a dwarf

Walk, walk

Heaps of walking

Path is blocked (walk underground)

Orc! Run!

A Balrog has come! (Kick him in the ass!)

You shall not fuck with me!

Walk, walk

I'm sick of elves!

Get on a boat, Boromir's an asshole

Motherfuckers on a magic quest

Fellows in the fellowship doing what they do best

(What if for a while they rode a massive hawk?)

I think I'd prefer if they walked (walked!)

This is my book motherfucker!

They'll walk if I tell them to!

Get that weak-ass bird shit out of here!