I'm ugly, why am I so ugly? I can't even look at myself in the mirror, I disgust myself. Maybe that's also why I like to hurt myself, but hurting myself doesn't make me stop being ugly, I can't change that. And I'm supposed to live 55 more years with this horrible appearance. Someone is supposed to love me with this appearance, and I'm supposed to accept living like this, but I don't want to anymore. I can only cover up all my imperfections so they don't look so bad. I don't even know how to take care of myself.

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I don't know anymore if I'm doing it for attention.