Weren't expecting me huh? I am 90% sure I will regret this.

Get comfy. this is my longest post on this platform.

Hi, uh, 4 months since I fucked up huh? Before people get their knickers in a twist, I know I'm not wanted here or anywhere by near everyone, for a good reason, I fucked up badly and paid the price, not exactly what I wanted in terms of "leaving" but shit happens.

For the 4 people who have no idea what the fuck I am on about, I did something horrible, idfk if I can even SAY what I did without getting this post removed but I'm sure if you look in the comments of my posts you will see. It was rancid of me and I've grown to deeply regret it.

Now the question of the day is, why the fuck am I speaking, why the fuck am I even around.

My answer: I'm stupid, but also I want to give a proper explanation as to "what happens now" from my mouth rather than others. I will write it in sections, give updates on myself, and say what will happen going forward.

What's happened to me since I got cancelled?

The obvious answer is I lost all credibility, and my reputation and I wouldn't be surprised if I am on someone's list, I also announced I got into therapy a week after I was cancelled in my now deleted bio (Gamejolt told me off).

My therapy is going well, at least I hope it is, I couldn't afford a 5-star "I will change your life forever" therapist, but the one I got is a lovely man who I can open up to about, everything. I attended every Friday once a week for an hour, my family say I've been in better moods lately, but I reckon that is because of Mimir.

Mimir is my kitten that I bought, I pay for everything that happens with him, food, toys, vet, everything. I couldn't sleep well at night for a few weeks since what happened, but he's helped me get to sleep now, he's cute, if a little needy, always seeks attention and likes chewing random things (£80 worth of damages so far, lil bugger.)

Here's a photo of him, I sent it in a comment a few days ago but I have no new photos on my PC.

Speaking of money everything I've gotten from Gamejolt (As of now, around 30 dollars) has gone to Human Appeal to help others, obviously when everyone hates you the gem count goes down a lot, and rightfully so.

Any regrets?

Many, I will never recover from the amount of shit I've done to fans, friends and loved ones.

I regret being almost tyrant-like to my fans, gatekeeping them from things they are passionate about.

I regret never opening up to people about my problems, in the hopes of getting help.

I regret treating my friends and team like shit for no reason.

I regret trying to silence people, instead of confronting and being honest.

I regret not being honest with my EX about any of this, or even facing her after I was called out.

I've done so much and it only took until after I lost everything to notice that I am a monster, I thank every person who called me out and nailed my coffin shut, I respect every single one of you deeply.

Why did I do it?

Even I am not sure, 4 months later I have no idea what overcame me to do such things, but my running theory is environment.

I joined the FNaS community when I was 12 years old, I was a bully victim who used a computer as escapism, and I let the internet raise me instead of my mother, a major mistake.

In the FNaS community, I learnt a lot of rights and wrongs, from fans, friends and people I looked up to I was 12 and insanely impressionable, fast-forward to when I was 16, I made Maniac Mania. More accurately I took one of Ian's cancelled games and decided "Yeah, I should finish it." and low and behold I SOMEHOW did. I got popular fast, and when I saw popularity, I saw a lot of opportunities, make more, make bigger, grow more, I got full of myself, too full of myself for my good. I got insanely egotistical and treated people with not much respect.

The Toy Tails thing though, I thought "Oh I've been told by people I looked up to that it's ok cuz the character is canonically in their 30s!" Yeah- not amazing logic on 4 months ago me's part. I ain't one to talk about the logistics of that but I now know it's wrong. Learnt from my grave mistake.

What I said in my large post in Discord still stands, I wasn't into whatever I was drawing, but it still does not make it remotely ok, I'm glad I never actually drew it.

Do want to add I find it weird how the Toy Tails thing pushed it over the line for this community considering the amount of lust people have for not only Toy Tails but another character like Lefty Sonic (Sonic's a minor too IIRC), like good work on calling me out on my bullshit but many more cases of people doing this haven't even been brought up anywhere from where I am sitting, I feel like something should be addressed about that.

What was I planning?

My legacy in FNaS has ended, obviously, but I want to let people know what I WAS going to do after my previous projects were finished.

Maniac Mania Deluxe - A recoding of Classic MM, with little to no new content, just fixes and bonuses like a highly improved Phantom Ian Boss (which was replayable) It had a lot of visual effects and all of the AI was going to be touched up to be more fun. (Nightmares were gonna be a lot more than just FNaS 1 on steroids) I got the camera system done and before I began AI, November 27th hit.

Art credit: Klunsgod, HackGame (HUD), Markiplier

Nightfall At Mario's (Series) - What I would GIVE to have the chance to do this again, Nightfall at Mario's was my baby, I felt like me and its team were making something BEAUTIFUL. The story was complex but fit together amazingly, it had scary moments, funny moments, it had it all. The fact I will likely never be able to finish even 1 game is the biggest regret of all of my projects.

Art Credit: Tuna, PN_Cherryz (HUD)

FNaS All-Stars - The obvious one, the game was never even too far off from completion, at least the first version, I'd say a good 75% done, alas it is gone. My most hyped part of the whole game was the FNaS 5s secret night set in 2002, man that would have been so cool to see. That and the entirety of GRIM and Atemporal's role. Man.

Art Credit: Owee, Mark

Smiling Roots: Beth Hillies - A game about a girl named Beth and her haunted NES, There were 3 games to play, Duck Hunt, Super Mario and Megaman, the games were haunted by an entity, which you all may know as Andrew Woods, or "The Lurcher" This game was a solo project that got decently far in the intense planning phase, I drew concepts and programmed certain aspects of it, It was in development for around 2 months before November 27th hit. I might revisit this once I'm a bit more stable.

Art Credit: Me

Smiling Roots: Scott Hillies - A fucked up game in the world of Smiling Roots (Same universe as the game above) You faced 6 opponents and played a game to the death, they ranged from card games to the knife game, and the loser of the game has to place a loaded pistol to their temple and TEMPT FATE! The first one to fire loses! Might revisit this one down the line but I think Buckshot beat me to the shot.

Art Credit: Me

Smiling Roots: Andrew Woods - Formerly known as "The Smiler", it was a top-down slender ESC game where 4 cultists and 1 monster chased you on a wide map, each had a unique AI of its own and got faster and harder as it went on, all Killers were redesigned, though never shown, Andrew was added later to connect my worlds.

I named all the killers recently actually.

Butcher - Vincent Stone (I like the name Vincent)

Splitter - Adam Stone (Adam felt natural)

Stalker - Amelia Stone (Friends suggestion)

Trapper - Robin Harper (Gender neutral name as I have not decided on The Trappers gender)

Lurcher - Andrew Woods (I wanted his name to be generic but iconic, something that felt like it was picked on the spot, which in lore, was.)

Once again, might revisit.

Art Credit: Me

Clones Vs. Machines - A PVZ clone(ha), I worked on it for a week, it was a practice project that I wanted to add real assets to, not much I can say to be honest. I did think of the zombies being endos tho and the Toys being the bucket/cone heads, so kinda neat.

Art credit: Some FNaS fan, TheCyVap, Nintendo, God, whoever took the photo of that cat, epic explosion.

There might be more but I can't remember, been a while since I even opened Clickteam.

Why did I run?

In hindsight, I didn't run away the moment I was exposed, when I was called out I faced the community head-on and gave them what they wanted, answers, I deleted my accounts as a way of showing "You win, I'll leave" Looking back, that was pretty dumb. My YouTube still exists it's just private, I can unprivate it and all the videos if you all want, lots of good stuff there still, perhaps I can make personal commentary.

By the grace of all that is holy, WHY ARE YOU STILL AROUND?

Incompetence, stupidity, bravery, or maybe a mix of all 3. I did something fucked up, but I feel it could have been worse, people have done worse than me and fled, hell people have done the same if not worse than me and are still around. The reality is, that I have a chance to be better, the chance to guide people into better life choices, I am not going to get better by hiding away, I think I need to face things head-on, be headstrong and seek to be better, some can agree, some can not.

So no, I am not "the next Epstien or EDP", that's ridiculous, but what I am is a fucking idiot who made some idiotic mistakes and got shit for it. People don't get better by isolation, that's how people get worse.

What do you think of the current FNaS community?

I fucking love you guys, all of your projects look amazing, and your MM retakes, remakes, remasters, recodes, all of it, look fucking phenomenal, I feel stupid for not allowing this while I had the chance, I shouldn't have put my mental state on others and allowed people to be free.

As for community management, well I have my opinions but overall solid.

The community has prospered without me and that's what counts, as I said above I feel like more things need to be brought up, I was the tip of an iceberg.

What have I played since November?

Just a fun bonus to the 2 people who stuck around and cared at the same time, but I've played some cool new games that you all should check out one day!

My list goes as follows

• The Last of Us Part 1 (Chipping off Part 2 right now)

• God of War

• God of War Ragnarok

• Red Dead 2

• Batman Arkham Asylum

• Various LEGO games

• Various FNaW fangames (Still have a sweet spot for those)

• Fortnite (I know I feel ashamed too but Peter Griffin.)

• Mario's Madness V2 (Holy hell go play this it's so good)

Other than those I've just been drawing horror stuff or writing my novel.

What now? Are you "back"?

Yes and no.

Yes, I am back in the sense that I will return to being somewhat active once more, even if people don't like this fact, I suggest simply growing to terms with it, or blocking me, or unfollowing me like most have not done shockingly.

No, I won't return to FNaS aside from comments, questions, and possible releases of my cancelled content. My place is no longer with FNaS, so you may rest easy my former FNaSers.

If people are disgusted by my return to the internet or wish for this that and this, please calm down, focus on yourself and not be a loser on the internet.

What will I do with the account?

Post horror art and game reviews, and maybe run some free Clickteam courses for people who want to learn how to make games.

I am 90% sure I won't make games, not this year at least, I want to make sure I am 100% stable in the head before I tackle anything major again.

I have no desire to attempt to "regain my place" anywhere, I am happy where I am, in the gutter with other fuck ups.

*Angrily types comment*

I understand your anger, I deserve the shit I was getting and still am getting, but what I ask is, try to at least be open minded, open your mind to the possibility that someone can get better with time.

If not, then feel free to block me, or leave a nasty comment, if I deserve it in your eyes then you're probably right!

To those who stick around

Don't treat me like a developer, don't treat me like a big force with the power to shatter communities, treat me like some random block you met at a coffee shop, or if you hate my guts, talk down on me, the worlds your oyster!

I hope I can at least provide some content to some people, even with my shattered reputation.

Contact info

If by some weird impulse, you want to CONTACT me anywhere, fear not, you can, though only do so if you want to say something, this isn't for making friends. If you have questions you can just reply to this post, but if you have deeper questions, or wish to discuss anything, feel free to contact me on Discord, it's the only social media I talk on right now, might get a bluesky.

Discord - CamDoesVoices

Ask questions, chat or throw the meanest shit known to man at me, feel free to do whatever.

Now what?

Me? I am going to go make breakfast while this post makes everyone go insane, I'm hungry and have been typing for hours.

Afterwards, I am going to clean up my page, update it and decide what to do with the games (I might just merge it all into 1 page and release builds of EVERYTHING, so you all have up-to-date cancelled builds.)

Happy early Halloween, enjoy my sudden jumpscare to you all.

I wish you all the best of luck with anything, life, games, your next bingo session, etc.

I will likely regret this in a few hours, or not, we will see.

~ Cam