thanks all of yall for being nice to me and supporting me n stuff cuz my mental health has not been that good and other stuff causing me to feel a bunch of different stuffs but like i really appreciate that everyones been here for me at my lows and my highs cuz no matter what yall support me and honestly ive never felt so loved and cared for my life has just been so different ever since like mid 2023 </3 i was rlly problematic and pessimistic and like suicidal at those times but now ive changed but i am optimistic and happy now and i have changed and im so happy in life

now here's the part where stuff gets a bit deep so tw: relapsing, threats, suicidal stuff, sexual/suggestive stuff/behavior, cussing, self degradation, self harm, trauma

!!do not HAVE to read if u don't like this stuff !!

ADDICTION/RELAPSE:

so a few months ago i had a sexual addiction. i did it everyday. then i stopped. and then i did it again. and then i did something i used to do A VERY long time ago few months ago and still is doing it UNTIL this very moment to cope with boredom i relapsed today and did another thing i haven't done in a few again.

i am going to stop and i will try to stop because i am better and i will not let this get to me

and im not going to be a failure

now

2023/2024/BEING PROBLEMATIC]

in 2024/2023, i used to use cuss words [in text] cuz i thought it was ok if i didn't say it irl

i was in the lgbt [as a Christian] [i was nb and sapphic and all that stuff but now im straight cisgender [not ally but i respect]

i was VERY sexual

i was a mental abuser

i was really toxic

i was very suicidal

SELF DEGRADATION/THREATS:

in 2025 aka few days ago

my music [one of my new songs]was constantly being called trash and i overthought and believed it [my music isn't that good but it's ok]

someone who has 0% empathy had the audacity to tell me

so,ething like this:

"lol imagine, [it was a vent post btw] u suck please go do self harm"

this really hurt bc im way more sensitive because woman stuff 😔

and ive been struggling with thoughts of self harm :)

SELF HARM:

ever since twenty twenty something i've had this habit of biting off my nails and chewing off the skin on my fingers

becajse of this i literally have red patches and cuts and lil skins on my fingers
ive been bleeding cuz of biting my skin off

my nails are VERY short cuz i bite them off

yes ive tried nail polish it works

i do this cuz it bothers me when the skins n stuff and it helps me aswell

TRAUMA:

at 7 years old i was exposed to sexual stuff [online], my "friend' [17 btw] when i was eight basically said stuff like "i'm gonna shove my private in ur mouth" or sum disgusting stuff and i've been very upset and sad about this

so uh yeah

just note: i have now changed and i will not do this anymore or again and i am willing to change for good.

i wont stop being optimistic and i will change and stop what i used to do

so thank you so much for being there for [me to my friends and fans] -from the girl who you all know as cali. :) 🧡🖤

i love you all so much and tysm for being there it really means the world to me

love you all so much [in friend way] 💚💜

YAYYYYYY stimmy stimmy stimmy.. :3333 💚💜 [Yes i am neurodivergent i was diagnosed with ADHD and yes i do stim so no i am not faking :3 💚💜 HONEYCOMB FROM KITTYDOG IS SO ME IM SCREAMINF]