This is gonna spark drama or whatever but at this point I already ruined a relationship and a friendship so I'm venting about this now.

A few days ago this week I had a talk with my mom. That wouldn't have been so bad... if my younger sister didn't also walk into the room. She's always been a jerk and at this point I'm debating on calling her the B word. She's in her first year of highschool by the way, I have three sisters so I just refer to her as my younger sister since I have a youngesy sister and an old sister. This younger sister was always embarrassed of me, and said I was "unlikeable" during the talk. It pissed me off and made me feel hopless, so what did I do? I practically began to force a friend to date me even though he's both older than me and only dates woman. If that wasn't bad enough, I feel guilty the next day and so I told another friend and then we began to argue a little. So that's two friendships ruined. The first friend probably forgives me but I still feel guilty about being forceful, and the 2nd friend seems to just hate me now but they have a good reason with how weird and rude I am.

I'm only venting about this now because I'm at a breaking point. What do I even do now? I'm impatient so waiting to see how things turn out isn't an option I'd wanna do and I just wanna fix things NOW but it only makes things worse. What am I even supposed to do now? The only thing distracting me from it is my 50% ADHD and working on games. What do I even do now? That talk just broke me and made this week all downhill for me personally. What do I even do now?!

Sorry for the vent post I'm just... I feel upset