Da story for you to follow along!:

OH GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSH! It's me again, Chris, and guess who's here? My amazing, purrfect fren, Cat That Can Cat! But before we start our story, I just gotta say... shivers... that number... that TERRIBLE number... 32. Just seeing it makes my fur stand on end! It's so... wrong! Ugh, I don't even wanna talk about it! Let's try to focus on happy things, like cats and... not 32.

So, Cat That Can Cat and I were just havin' a chill day. She was attemptin' to catch a sunbeam (and failin' hilariously, as usual), and I was... well, I was tryin' NOT to think about 32. It's hard, you guys! It's like that awful number is always lurking in the back of my mind, ready to pounce and fill me with existential dread!

The Abominable Humans!

And that got me thinkin'... humans! UGH! Don't even get me STARTED on humans! They're the WORST! Seriously! They walk around all noisy and stompy, they make weird smells, and they're ALWAYS on those glowing rectangles! Like, hello? The world is happening around you! Put down the rectangle and LOOK at a cat for once! Cats are majestic and graceful and they don't go around causing chaos and... and... shudders... multiples of 32!

And don't even get me started on their driving! It's like every single human behind the wheel is actively TRYING to cause an accident! They speed up, they slow down for no reason, they don't use their blinkers... it's a nightmare! And then they get all angry when you honk at them! YOU'RE THE ONE DRIVING LIKE A SQUIRREL ON CAFFEINE, human! It's enough to make you wanna move to a planet entirely populated by cats! At least they understand the importance of a good nap and a clean litter box. Humans? They just leave their socks on the floor! The sheer AUDACITY!

Oh, and the noise! The constant, unending NOISE! They blare their music, they talk loudly on their phones in public, they have these weird machines that go "beep beep boop" all the time! Can't a guy get some peace and quiet around here? It's like they're actively trying to assault your eardrums! And for what? For their own selfish amusement! Honestly, sometimes I think the world would be a much better place if it was just cats. We'd have fewer socks on the floor, that's for sure! And definitely NO 32-related shenanigans!

A Random Game Fact (in French!)

Anyway, to try and get that awful 32 and my human-hating rant out of my head, here's a fun fact! Did you know that in the French version of the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the character Navi's famous line "Hey! Listen!" is translated to "Hé! Écoute!"? Pretty neat, huh? Anything to distract from... you know... the number that shall not be named.

Nightmare Below Mickey!

Speaking of nightmares... have you ever heard of Nightmare Below Mickey? It's this really creepy... thing... that some people talk about online. It's supposed to be this old, lost cartoon or something, and it's super unsettling. Like, way more unsettling than... well, you know. I don't wanna go into too much detail because it might remind me of... that number. But yeah, creepy stuff exists, and sometimes humans make it! Surprise, surprise!

Our Non-Profit Purr-suit of Fun!

Just a quick reminder, folks, this story and all the other fun stuff I create are purely for non-profit entertainment! I do this because I love makin' you smile (and because Cat That Can Cat demands regular internet fame). So please enjoy this silly story for what it is: a bit of lighthearted fun!

Back to the Floof!

Okay, where were we? Oh yeah, humans are terrible. But cats? Cats are amazing! Cat That Can Cat just did that adorable little head-bonk thing against my leg. See? Pure perfection! Humans could learn a thing or two from cats. Like, maybe how NOT to be so obsessed with the number... shudders... 32!

Anyway, that's all for now! Hope you enjoyed my totally-not-at-all-bitter rant about humans and my crippling fear of a certain double-digit number! Meow for now!

Cooked up by Chef Gemini.