sometimes i just feel like not waking up

like i feel like i don't belong to this world

no-one and nothing here fits me

i just want to go somewhere else where i can have peace and some happiness

i may or may not be suffering inside

even if i don't have depression, i don't think if, even if i had, i need to be sad

like

theres no reason on making other people sad

if YOU feel sad

i don't know why i feel this way

like

..........

i don't know how to explain

i never really cared for myself

for me, other people are more important then me

so if they're happy

then i'm happy

no matter if i just feel like sleeping all day to avoid the pain

like duh

i aways want the better for the others

but in return they give me what they call..

"friendship".. if i even can call using me for popularity, money and other things.. friendship

yea, my own mother, called me a bitch

my own father, said i aways act like a crybaby

my own brother, said he hated me, WITH THOSE WORDS

I OVERWORK MYSELF, EVERYDAY

I SPEND MY WHOLE DAY IN MY ROOM, AND WHEN I LEAVE TO HUG SOMEONE

THEY CALL ME

"ATTENTION SEEKER"

.......

I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHTS BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT

I CAN'T EAT PROPERLY

AND WHEN I NEED A HUG

THEY REJECT ME

..

i'm not sad

i'm just..

i'm just angry..

why can't people understand i'm doing my best?

even when i try the most to do things good

i end up doing it bad

BUT LOOK ITS NOT MY FAULT

I NEVER SAID I WANTED TO BE THIS WAY

I TRY MY BEST OK?

..........................

i just need some silence... peace

and...

..

friends..

sometimes.