[clears throat] Good morning, everyone. [thoughtful] Now, where were we? Ah, yes, the Roman Empire. [short pause] A truly fascinating period, wouldn't you agree? I always found the engineering quite remarkable. [chuckles] Rather more robust than some of the… ahem… modern attempts, I daresay. [thoughtful] Do remember to hand in your essays on the Punic Wars by Friday. No excuses, mind.

So I’m pitching to this investor, and you’ll never guess what they asked me? [laughs] They wanted to see a REVENUE graph! Mate, come on. We’ll monetise later! Can’t you see our signup graph is shaped like a cricket bat – [gasp] Did I say cricket bat? [hurriedly] Forget I said that! It is NOT linear. It's definitely exponential. [clears throat] God, this is awkward.

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