Nathalie Lawhead, AKA alienmelon, is the IGF Nuovo Award winning creator of Tetrageddon Games. She’s a poet, an artist, a prankster, and, of course, a game developer. She’s gifted us all with such delightful and perplexing digital toys as Anatomically Incorrect Dinosaurs, Weird Alien Frogs, and Electric Love Potato. Her growing body of work is a profound (and profoundly funny) running commentary on computers, the internet, and how humans interact with them.
She’s also incredibly friendly and was gracious enough to take the time to answer some questions I had. There was a lot of ground to cover, so I’ve split the interview into two parts. Let’s dive right into part one…
Paul: So, you never really set out to make games at first, did you?
Nathalie: I didn’t. I set out to make web-art. Interactive art. Interactive art for the web. I wanted art that the world could see, completely free of any restraints that traditional art has. The internet was your gallery. Distribution was easy, and unlimited. It was so exciting.
I come from a classic art background. When the web became accessible to me I jumped on that. At that time it was totally new, and very few people knew about it. Email spam was yet unheard of, and I had to constantly explain to people what the world wide web was. Ok… “Information Superhighway”.
When I started, this was not being taught in colleges. Literally all my teachers told me I was throwing my future away, computers will destroy your creativity (argument along the lines of “making you lazy/dependent”), and that it was a niche that would go away. It was constant. There was a lot of prejudice. This was what I was passionate about, and what I totally believed the future of art was.
{% pullquote BlueSuburbia %}
My first “serious” project was BlueSuburbia. I started sometime in 1997 and it officially launched in 1999. I was constantly developing it up to sometime in 2005 (if I remember the “end date” right). The project enjoyed quite a bit of recognition in net-art circles… At least I thought it was “quite a bit”.
The “games” thing started when people discovered the site, and started calling it a “game”. My initial reaction to it being called a game was outrage. Sorry. :) Not in the “snobby artist” sense, but I remember how confused people where about it. Reactions like “wtf, this game is weird”, “what am I supposed to do??”. They wanted a goal, but the entire site is about poetry. Interactive literature. It’s poetry that is alive and you experience. You have to read and look. I had no intention of making a goal, adding mechanics, and having an end. People where confused because as soon as you said “game” they expected that. It was pretty crazy to see. Reactions to it before it was called a game where “this is incredible”, after it was called a game reactions where confusion. When you say “this is art” it calls for a level of open mindedness. Art demands introspection. I think games are at this level (today) because a lot of people (indies, writers) have pounded away at our preconceptions. It’s really exciting.
Today I am very proud to use the term art and games synonymously.
Long story short… after a lot of self-discovery, reevaluating prejudices, and shedding misconceptions of what “game” is, I decided to stop fighting it. Today I am very proud to use the term art and games synonymously.
Paul: At what point did you start embracing the term “game”?
Nathalie: I became open to it after my experience with BlueSuburbia. It was a pretty crazy time. I would spend days fighting that. Sites would do that thing where they hijack it, and I would spend forever hijacking it back and updating the page with a warning saying “THIS IS NOT A GAME!”. It was exhausting. Eventually I realized I was being stupid and fighting my own success.
{% pullquote Tetrageddon Games homepage %}
Paul: Tetrageddon Games is a big project, with a lot of different parts. How long have you worked on it?
Nathalie: It’s been on and off. If I have to summarize I would say about three years. I took a break from it to go work with some game companies. After these experiences, I came back to it fully determined to make it something awesome. I think that’s really the way to go for anyone interested in “getting into games”. Don’t work for people, go do your own thing. It’s a lot more liberating, and with the tools that are available today, it’s very accessible.
Paul: Is any game you release automatically a part of Tetrageddon?
Nathalie: No. The games that are officially part of Tetrageddon are the thumbnails. Anything around it is an extra distraction… for people that get distracted. Criteria is that it has to have a focus on humor, and a certain level of “what the hell is this, I have no idea what I’m doing, what is happening to me!?”. Weird-wrong-humor is very important.
{% pullquote Anatomically Incorrect Dinosaurs %}
Paul: You took home the 2015 IGF Nuovo Award for Tetrageddon Games, which was richly deserved, by the way! I was there in the audience and you seemed completely shocked. Was it totally unexpected?
Nathalie: I was totally shocked. I think I still am in a state of disbelief. I didn’t think they said what I thought they said until people were looking at me. I didn’t have a thank-you speech prepared because… well… look at all these other games! Wow! Become A Great Artist, and Desert Golfing, and… But I think it turned out well because that was the most honest from-the-heart thing I could say.
Paul: What did winning the award mean for you?
Nathalie: It meant that my work is good, and I do have something of value to offer society. That my games are fun, I do belong, and I should keep making things like this.
I’m certain others have similar stories, but making “weird”, different, or non-standard things is hard. I’ve gone through a lot of hard times because of it. The last experience left me feeling like the least talented, most useless, and uncreative person alive. I’m not a good artist, and a terrible programmer, and I really should quit… You know… No one is immune to having a bad boss, abusive work environment, or crapy coworkers who want you to know that. Before I found the indie game scene (largely thanks to IndieCade), I felt like there was no more hope in continuing. It had been an uphill battle, met by constant prejudice from peers.
When I finally quit, I picked up Tetrageddon Games (new games, redo everything, give it all away, get them on mobile), and went on a submission spree. I’m not sure how, but it somehow worked out. It has meant the world.
I somehow entered an alternate reality where people are nice. The indie scene is awesome.
Another great thing that came from being at IGF/GDC that year was being swayed to give Game Jolt a shot. I was a bit hesitant about online communities. I honestly don’t know what happened. I somehow entered an alternate reality where people are nice. The indie scene is awesome.
Paul: Do you consider your work comedy? Satire? Parody?
Nathalie: A little of all. As a whole, Tetrageddon Games is a satire of our digital age.
It’s interesting, but computers have become a reality in their own right. We expect certain behavior from the software we live in, websites we browse. We exist there. Sometimes more than in the “real” world.
If you close a window it MUST close. If it does something else, outrage or confusion may follow. There is a small surge of panic you get when you hear an error sound, or just see the spinning beachball/hourglass/spinning whatever. So if you take all this behavior we take for normal, and use it either as a joke, or as a weird way of distorting someone’s sense of reality, it really can mess with people.
{% pullquote Tetrageddon Games %}
For example… my last small thing was a little app for OSX. It gives your computer cursor a potato, or a bunch of loading icons that follow it around. If you set your cursor to it, it looks like your computer is loading indefinitely. I made this for practical joke purposes. A lot like my Mac “Windows Loading” screensaver. I put that on someone’s computer, and set the cursor to “beachball”. It caused total chaos.
It’s also funny that when your victim sees the “Windows Loading” screensaver they really don’t even try to interact with the computer. It’s just a total sense of helplessness that washes over them.
So, I must sound really evil right now, but bear with me… For the sake of scientific observation… interesting thing is that if someone just sees this icon, it doesn’t matter if your computer really is loading. The very presence of these icons will disturb people (disrupt their sense of peace).
{% pullquote Anatomically Incorrect Dinosaurs %}
I did some of this with Anatomically Incorrect Dinosaurs. It turned out great. This is still very unexplored, and I want to do so much more of this. Software that just doesn’t behave right. Think about a calculator that occasionally refuses to calculate because “you should know this”, or just provides rough estimates of whatever you entered. Or a music player that really doesn’t play the music you tell it to play (it plays the music it wants, and argues your musical tastes). It’s really unsettling to people when computers disobey. We need more of this. If a game incorporates this, it turns either into a comedy or a horror experience — depending on the “mood” you give it.
Paul: What creators and works in whatever medium have inspired you?
Nathalie: I come from a classic art background and used to draw a lot of inspiration from surrealism. Most of my inspiration lately comes from other indie developers. Game Jolt and itch.io mostly. I can’t say anyone in particular because there are so many amazing developers. Everyday there’s a new and interesting game.
{% pullquote Tetrageddon Games %}
Paul: Were there any games that had a lasting impact on you and your work?
Nathalie: I played a lot of DOS games. Look up Cheesy Software! I worshiped them. They had this humorous twist.
I think my reverence for this goes a bit beyond nostalgia. It’s history.
I often go back to those old-school experiences. I think my reverence for this goes a bit beyond nostalgia. It’s history. DOS games you could download from the downloads.com from way back, or any odd site, had a certain charm. I really miss the old internet. I think we lost a lot in the transition to today’s internet. Things (generalization) are way too professional, restrictive, uptight, monetized, etc. and it’s sort of concerning me.
I digress… a lot of people get their nostalgic touch from early consoles (Nintendo, etc…), so I think this gives my stuff a bit of a strange flavor.
Paul: You still use Flash, right? Has its impending death been greatly exaggerated?
Nathalie: Oh, gee… This will be a long one…
Flash dies on a yearly basis. The platform has a long history of being “hated” by journalists. If you feel so inclined you can find articles from 1999. I could start providing links, but for the sake of brevity I think it’s best not to. I remember when Microsoft announced Sparkle (later became Silverlight) media was calling that the “Flash Killer”. I had friends telling me that I should “get on this Sparkle bandwagon because Flash is a sinking boat.” So, if you understand where I’m coming from, I’m really done with this discussion.
I have been at this (making “web stuff”) for a very long time. My knowledge doesn’t just start or end with the Flash platform. I consider myself prolific in Javascript, php, MySQL, etc… no point in compiling a list.
I’ve concluded that the only people I listen to about Flash news are the Flash team. That’s the only reliable source. Adobe’s teams (Flash Player and AIR) release updates on a monthly basis, with new features every quarter. So Flash is in active development. The standalone Flash Player runtime is updated 1.2 billion times per month directly from users going to Adobe. Integrated Flash Player is built into Google Chrome, Internet Explorer 11, and Microsoft Edge. They have major partners that have embedded Flash Player into their platforms. For me it’s also essential to reach people on “older” platforms (older systems, older browsers, etc), and Flash can guarantee that… This could go on, so I’ll stop.
I’m more than familiar with all the arguments, and stigma.
It’s insecure: What isn’t? If you mean “the most insecure”, this is false. I think the fact that it was used for banner ads made it a popular target to hate and exploit. If you blame Flash for vulnerabilities, it’s missing the point, and part of a larger problem.
It’s slow: When you make the comparisons of “browsing the web with Flash installed” and “browsing the web without Flash” you are (or were) basically making the comparison “browsing the web with ads enabled” and “without ads” because (at the time of these comparisons) this was the case. It would be fair to now do the same thing where HTML5 banners are the norm (but disable javascript to disable ads). Results would be very different. Although, I pity any technology that gets stuck with ads. I think we’re going to start seeing more and more people complaining about “evil slow javascript” (unfortunately). Ads are an archaic model for making money, and (unfortunately) an abused one.
So… For my purposes, Flash is very much relevant and alive.
I get that this sounds like an evangelist, but honestly ANYTHING positive you say about the platform these days will be looked down on or written off as that. The conversation has gotten so toxic that you can literally make a sub-par game, and then make a big deal about how Flash is dead, and how you ported your game to javascript (because of how dead it is), and win an award just for saying that. If I were to make a Unity game, and then port it to Unreal, and make a big deal about how Unity is dead, would I get the same level of attention?
The Unity Player is “dead”, does this mean Unity is dead? When you pronounce Flash dead do you mean the entire platform, or just the player? AIR is huge. According to current statistics from Adobe, and the Flash teams, dead is not the case.
It really depends on the industry you are in/what you have been using it for. In terms of online advertising it is (thankfully) “dead”. Flash based banner ads were never a good idea, because users could just turn the plugin off. This alone cost the ad industry billions. I forget the exact numbers.
Saying “Flash is dead” is also missing the point of a larger discussion. The web is not what it used to be. It’s not as free or open. We say it is, but that’s forgetting how it used to be.
I believe that mobile platforms are basically holding the web hostage. For example, there is no interest from Apple to support all the standards (real full-frontal HTML5 like we all wish). If the browser on the phone where any “good” it would compete too much with apps.
We are coming from an early web where websites were very creative, everyone had one, everyone created it, pretty much from the ground up, the amount of experimentation was amazing. I mean, we were talking about composers for websites. The web as virtual reality. 3D websites. It was very similar to how the indie game scene is now. After social media, this changed a lot. It’s not at all as creative as it was. It’s all about monetization.
I could make a very long essay about how the web as we once knew it is “done”, but perhaps it’s part of another discussion…
So when people ask me the “Flash dead” question… did you know that ALL the art and animation in BlueSuburbia was created in Flash? It’s a 100% fully animated interactive vector art project. I will never be able to do this with the (current state of) HTML5.
Furthermore… ALL my art is created in Flash. Visit Tetrageddon, play my games, there is not one thing there that hasn’t been created in Flash. With the exception of exporting the graphics into a format that javascript can handle - mostly animated gifs because those are the funnest for me.
{% pullquote Weird Alien Frogs %}
All the pixel art is created with Flash, rotoscoping, animation… I even create some sound using the program (you can use it as a sound generating tool) — but that’s just SOME. If need be, I export to different formats. It’s an immense time saver for me, and simply a blessing to work with because it’s so flexible.
The only thing I really don’t do exclusively in it is audio work. For that I use FLStudio or Audacity.
Show me an HTML5 tool that can do all that. If you’re ready to recommend one, don’t. I already tried that one.
So now I am constantly being told that I should go back to a workflow that involves I don’t know how many different programs (because I should not use Flash). One for creating art assets, another for animating (maybe if I’m lucky I can make both art assets and some animation in one, but probably will have to be two separate programs), and another for programming, and another for sound work… This is going to triple production time for me.
I really have 0 interest anymore in defending the tools I use. I’ve heard it all.
I use both HTML5 (Javascript, etc…) and Flash. I need both. Used together, I love all the advantages I get. I consider myself just as strongly versed in Javascript as I am in Flash (Actionscript) — if you go so far as to call me “good at Flash”. When I’m told to go try/learn whatever.js or Haxe, please understand that I have.
I chose Flash for very specific quality related reasons. I can’t pull off the amount of work, the level of quality, ubiquitousness, and flexibility in another platform (for the web). This is by no means an amateur saying this. I’ve been working with the web for a long time. I choose my tools (platforms, languages, etc) very carefully, and consistently look for alternatives.
So, short answer is “yes”.
Paul: I’m convinced!
That’s all for now, but there’s more to come. Stay tuned for the second part of my interview with the amazing Nathalie Lawhead!
#nathalielawhead #tetrageddongames #bluesuburbia #anatomicallyincorrectdinosaurs #free #gamedev
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