Loneliness is the one true killer of my own willpower, and i am always alone in my thoughts, alway reliving my past, always, i dont get a break in my dreams either, its either violent, or NSFW, or a memory ive long forgoten, and i rarely dream now, i cant close my eyes without seeing porn or gore in the void of my eyes, its killing me, people have ruined me, and i relive that fact daily, i relive the things ive seen. reliving the truma, seeing it in the corner, i cant be in the dark or i see shit, i see faces, figures, even in light, i see them, ive gotten used to it, but its still anoying, im tired.