i will refuse to ever be fully awake. i will refuse to ever be fully aware. after i leave the confines of the area i had last fallen asleep within, i will always wish to return. i will sleep at times of daylight, and regain my consciousness during the hours that the "moonlight" is visible through the window's glass to i and many others. i will figment a reality for myself which i hope that none other will be able to observe every day, continuing said realities. i do not fully live, yet it does not count towards simplistic existence. i grow, however, during those times, i weaken myself. constantly. i do not wish to dream infinitely, for i will not have a truer vessel to control. i wish to be presumably alive, yet at those times i do wonder the effects of my decease if at that moment, of if i had never known this self. i wish to explore, yet i wish to simply observe. i shall not understand the meaning, the concepts, until some day. some moment. i will remain as this alias here until i perish.

i am still the wondering idiot you may know as "ayoku"