Wednesday, 1993, Chapter 4, The Party.(Jonnys POV)

After we had recorded the song, Michael was really keen to celebrate. He said we should probably have a party to celebrate the recording of his first song (his mother had left to have a night out, so it gave us a few hours to ourselves). I decided against it, but Colin was all for the party, I wasn't sure why he was so excited, because the song wasn't even finished yet. But, if it'll make him happy...

It was a simple party, we didn't have too many people over, it was me, Colin, Michael, Thom, Ed, Phil, and a few other of Michael's friends who I don't know the names of. We had some music playing from our speakers and we decided to do some karaoke. Michael, of course, was the first to try. He decided to sing the song we had recorded earlier today and as soon as I heard his angelic voice sing that first note... I was in love. It may have just been his voice coming out of a shitty speaker, but it meant something to me... I wanted more. I wanted to hear more of his voice, his beautiful, angel-like voice... As soon as he sang the last note, I snapped out of my trance. I wanted it to continue, so when it stopped, it caused me to become internally frustrated.

I was slightly scared at the thought of us having a party, because that means there would be alcohol involved, and I'd rather not Michael to anything stupid to embarrass himself. So, as to keep an eye on him, I stayed sober for the party. It was slightly difficult to not give in to my temptations, but I'd manage.

The party had gone on for some time now, and Michael and Colin were both quite wasted, I stood up from the chair I was sitting on to get some water, when through the blaring lights, from the corner of my eye... I see Colin and Michael... Kissing each other... I froze, my blood running cold and my face going pale before I start to feel my hot tears run down my cheeks... How could he? I didn't see much, I don't know how long they kissed for, I don't know what it meant to him... But it was probably more than we ever had. I quickly yet quietly walk out of the living room and I run upstairs into the bathroom, locking myself inside to cry.

I had been inside the bathroom for some time before someone knocked on the bathroom door... It was Thom. His speech was slightly slurred from the alcohol.

"Who's in there..? I'm gonna be sick..."

Thom says, my eyes widening as I quickly hide my face with my dark hair and walk out of the room. Thom kneels down and starts to gag, I hold his hair back as he throws up. He then stands up and washes his mouth out with some water before turning to me.

"Thanks Jon-Jon..."

Thom says before he looks at me, his expression unreadable. He stays like this for some time before he brushes some of my hair out of my face.

"Have you... Have you been crying, Jonny..?"

Thom says, his voice full of concern.

*"Shit, he noticed..."* I think to myself as I can feel more tears building up, the memory of Michael and Colin kissing re-playing over and over again in my head. I look back at Thom before bursting into tears once again.

Thom is quick to comfort me, he sits me down on the floor and sits next to me, holding my hand as he talks in his soft, sweet voice.

"Jonny... What happened..? You're usually never upset like this..."

Thom said as he rubs his thumb over my knuckles. I find his touch comforting and warm... Through my tears, I manage to say a few words.

"Michael... A-And Colin... They... They..."

That's all I managed to get out before bursting into tears again... *"God, why am I being so emotional, it was just one kiss..."* I think to myself as I cry... I need to stop being so sensitive...

I wipe away my tears with my sleeve and lean against the wall before I speak in a quiet, weak voice.

"I-It's fine, Thom... Really..."

I say, not sounding very confident at all.

"It's not though, is it? What's happened that's got you so worked up..?"

Thom asks, still concerned for me. I sigh and look up as I speak, feeling the tears coming on again.

"I... I say Michael and Colin kiss... A-And... It wasn't just a peck... I know he's drunk... But... It still hurts... A lot... What if he never loved me..? What if he's just using me..?"

I say, starting to spiral into all the different possibilities. Thom quickly cuts me off.

"Jonny... You need to talk to him about this..."

Thom says as he leans forward to look at my tear-stained face.

"But... I don't want to ruin anything... What if I just pretend it didn't happen..?"

I say, thinking about if it would work. Thom shakes his head and sighs.

"You can't do that... Because, everytime you look at him after, you won't be able to shake what you saw... It'll never be the same if you ignore it, you won't be happy if you ignore what he did..."

Thom says as he stands up.

"If you won't tell him, I will."

Thom says confidently before walking back downstairs, leaving me alone to think about what I could do next.