Exactly 2 years, 7 days 63 seconds, Ace of Hearts was released! (also my watch is broken). And we've been doing some amazing progress with Area 2! And we believe we could get the 2nd demo out this year!... this ends now.

Introducing, the Coyote Update! (cuz coyotes are cool)

This update aims to focus on the one thing that matters the most in any video game ever: GRAPHICS!

Sure, this is probably gonna hold up development by at least 28 more years but that's fine right. And sure, the game looked fine as is.
That's the end of that sentence.

Now of course, while graphics are our lord and savior, and they're awesome, and they saved my grandma, but there's this thing called "Gamploy" or however you spell it, so we did do some changes that I'm sure you will love!

Some of them include:

-We will add a stamina bar, meaning every 25 steps you run, Beltboy will need to spend 40, real life seconds, catching his breath.

-If you jump a cliff that's 4 or more tiles high, Beltboy will breaks both his legs and have to crawl for the rest of the game.

-Removed Herobrine.

-Added 400 new scripts, all of which break the game.

-Added the number 4

-Made Beltboy straight

-Changed all instances of Lisa Black with regular black. Out of spite.

-Removed god

-Added sex

-Added one more route

-Fuck it, added another one

-Y'know what? We'll add another, cuz you been so nice all year

-Added YOU, the player.

-New difficulty mode called “Fuck You” where Save Crows now delete random folders from your computer

-Nerfed Lanks

-Nerfed Cyclops

-Nerfed your uncle

-Removed Reginald

-Added an NPC in Area 1, where he'll give you the Plaque of Difficulty, an equipment that acts as a more tradition "Hard Mode", where enemies get buffed, and party members get nerfed. He will ONLY appear in Area 1, so it's adviced you start the mod over from the beginning when Demo 2 comes out.

-fucked your mom, shitlips

-Paul

We are so glad all of you just accept all these changes, and will not complain whatsoever!

Anyway, have this STUPID and LAME old screenshot from before we had all these awesome ideas, that will DEFINITELY not be in the next demo:

Signed...

With love...

...wait, what day is it again?

(thank you @ClownManGuy and @Klazikur_ for the fake resprited characters)