Diary of an Eggy Kid

By Jonathan Rueda

November 1

I think this school year is already on track to be my most awkward one yet. It started with snow this morning (yeah, it’s already snowing in November—thanks, weather). I was just trying to walk to school, when I slipped on some ice, slid halfway down the sidewalk, and managed to crash into the neighbor’s mailbox. I’m pretty sure the mailman saw it happen.

Anyway, I finally made it to school, and that’s when Rickey decided it was prank time. He thought it’d be hilarious to pretend he didn’t know me when we walked into class together. “Who’s this guy?” he said, pointing at me. “I’ve never seen him before in my life!”

I wanted to die. Like, really. But that’s Rickey for you—always making everything awkward, even though he’s not trying to. He’s like my friend, but sometimes he acts like he doesn’t understand social cues.

“Dude, cut it out,” I whispered, but Rickey was already laughing so hard that his glasses were almost falling off his face.

November 3

Today, I learned that the snow was just the beginning of my awkward problems. After lunch, Rickey thought it’d be a great idea to challenge me to a snowball fight. In front of everyone.

I didn’t even want to participate, but Rickey was already winding up a snowball like it was some sort of weapon of mass destruction. “Come on, Eggy! Don’t chicken out!”

So, of course, I had to throw one back at him. But the second I did, I missed, and the snowball hit Mr. Clamsworth right in the head.

The whole class went silent. Mr. Clamsworth turned around, wiped the snow off his head, and gave me the look—the one that says “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

“Jonathan,” he said, his voice full of that disappointed tone, “maybe you should stick to reading inside.”

I wanted to curl up into a snowball and disappear. But Rickey, being Rickey, was standing there giggling, completely unaware that he had just pushed me into full awkward mode.

November 5

Recess was horrible. Rickey decided we were going to “team up” for a snowball fight against some kids from the other class. We were supposed to be the cool team. But here’s the thing: Rickey’s aim is terrible. He missed every shot he took, and then there was me, trying to catch snowballs that weren’t even aimed at me. It was a mess.

But you know what made it worse? Ortensia.

She floated by, her glowing teeth all creepy and that weird purple ink dripping from her mouth, and for some reason, I couldn’t stop staring at her. It’s not like I was trying to, it just… happened. She doesn’t even walk; she just floats!

“Is he okay?” Rickey asked, nudging me.

I couldn’t even respond. It was like time stopped when Ortensia looked over at me and smiled.

November 12

The talent show auditions came up today, and Rickey was all hyped about it. “We gotta do this,” he said, practically jumping up and down. “We’ll make the class laugh!”

Rickey’s great, but sometimes he has really weird ideas. So, naturally, he convinced me to do a comedy skit with him. We were supposed to be superheroes. He was “The Incredible Red,” and I was “The Blue Blur.” Our routine was supposed to be funny… until Rickey messed it up.

While I was trying to save the day as the Blue Blur, Ortensia floated in and announced herself as the villain. Everyone gasped, and I didn’t even know what to do anymore.

“Uh… she’s not part of the act!” Rickey whispered to me.

I tried to keep the skit going, but it was pointless. Ortensia had completely stolen the show with her creepy glowing eyes and that smile that never seemed to end. Rickey was practically fuming, but I just couldn’t get mad at Ortensia.

She’s… well, different.

November 15

It’s official: the whole class thinks I’m the weird kid. I guess it’s because I’m always the one getting embarrassed by Rickey’s antics. Today, Rickey had this brilliant idea to play “snowball dodge” in the hallways. Of course, I didn’t want to, but he begged me. So, there I was, trying to dodge snowballs that Rickey was launching at me with no aim whatsoever.

And guess who had to pass by? That’s right—Ortensia. And guess what? She floated by, completely unfazed by the chaos.

“You’re getting good at dodging,” she said, with that ink still dripping from her mouth.

I couldn’t help it—I smiled back. But then Rickey saw, and you know what he said?

“Dude, you’re totally crushing on her, aren’t you?”

I wish I could say I wasn’t. But when Rickey said that, I felt my face turn redder than a tomato. I mean, come on. Ortensia is different, and honestly, she doesn’t make me feel awkward, like Rickey does.

But yeah, that just made everything more awkward.

November 20

The snow’s still coming down hard, and I’m pretty sure it’s following me everywhere. The worst part? It’s like snowflakes are just attracted to me, because every time I try to get my homework done, the snow starts to fall through the ceiling.

Rickey thinks it’s hilarious. “Maybe the snow just likes you,” he said, as I swatted the flakes off my paper.

I just sighed. Honestly, it feels like I’m stuck in some weird snowstorm of awkwardness, and Rickey’s the one steering the ship. But you know what? I don’t mind it so much. It’s kind of fun, even if I have to embarrass myself every day.

And then, of course, there’s Ortensia. The one person who doesn’t seem to think I’m a walking disaster.

Maybe things aren’t so bad after all.

December 1

It’s officially Christmas season. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that I still can’t get through a day without some kind of disaster happening, or that it’s now snowing even harder.

Rickey was in full holiday spirit today, wearing a huge Christmas sweater. It was so big, he was tripping over it every few steps. “It’s Christmas, Eggy!” he shouted as he slipped on some ice outside. “Time for snowball wars!”

I groaned. Of course Rickey had to make everything an awkward challenge.

But even through all that chaos, something good happened. Ortensia floated up beside me again, all spooky and glowing, and said, “It’s Christmas, Jonathan. I think you should take a break from the awkwardness for once.”

I could’ve sworn she was trying to make me feel better, but honestly, I had no idea how to respond. I just nodded, trying not to look too awkward in front of her.

December 15

Only ten days until Christmas, and I think I’m starting to get used to the whole awkward routine. Rickey’s still up to his weird antics, but it’s kind of nice, in a way. He’s my friend, after all.

And Ortensia… well, she’s still the coolest person I know.

I tried to ask her if she liked snowflakes (you know, because of the whole floating thing), but it came out sounding like a total idiot question. Luckily, she didn’t seem to mind. “Snowflakes are nice,” she said. “But they don’t last long. Neither do moments.”

I have no idea what that meant, but it sounded deep. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out.

December 25 - Christmas Day

It’s Christmas, and for the first time in a while, I feel like everything is… okay.

Rickey and I spent the whole day trying to make snowmen (I’m terrible at it, as usual), and Ortensia actually showed up at the end, floating in and sprinkling purple ink like it was snow. It was the weirdest, most awkward thing ever, but I felt kind of… happy.

I think I’ve learned a lot this year. Awkwardness is just a part of life. And maybe, just maybe, being a little different isn’t so bad.

Merry Christmas, everyone.