I say I've moved on from you but that's a lie. I know you hate me and probably want me dead but I still miss you. I know some people will get angry seeing me still grieve and I'm sorry.

You said lots of bad things to me but I hurt more knowing I could've prevented our departure. I still care for you knowing you will never care for me the same way. I wait for you still knowing you will never come to my aid.

I say I've been stronger without you but that's also a lie. I just smile and try to act fine but I just crack even more I'm reminded of you. I can't live a day where I'm not reminded of you. I say I hate you but I cry in guilt and frustration knowing I could never hate you.

When I wake up I think of you and before I go to sleep I think of you. I feel so much regret. I feel so much. This has been affecting me but my rainy days have been affecting others and I'm sorry for that too.

In my dreams you're there

In my head you're there

In my writing you're there

In my style you're there

In my music taste you're there

In my promises you're there

But in my night sky, you're no longer there.

Why do I still cry and wait for you....my dearest best friend?