tw: stuff that no teenager shall see.

hello, strangers. i am early at the morning, hungry and wondering if this world will get better. i feel very confused at myself and this world. every day, i get more and more atheist which i dont want to be. i want to believe in god but this world is filled with so much hatred. i dont think there will be any help for the future of humanity. i feel like humanity should just end itself for the better. this post might not be optimistic and heck even maybe depressing and out of character from me, and thats could probably be because of every problem in me. i have autism and adhd (if you didnt know) and possibly some other mental problems that i may perhaps have. these problems affect my whole entire life. i am sadly not proud of these problems. i do not wish these parasites into any type of person (even those who have evil in their hearts) because well it makes you feel confused and out of touch in some elements in life. this might be a little hard for me to say but recently, i have been getting sui thoughts. this next section will contain very graphic details on these thoughts.

recently, i have imagined how pleasing these things are to me, such as myself getting hnged or heck even stbng myself.

i frequently feel like when i turn into a grown up, this whole world will have its rules inverted. just like in the bible (yes i am also a christian). but i dont think i need to worry. time will solve everything and i mean everything. you know that we will be forgotten? yup! forgotten like the lost souls that wandered around the blue planet that we love to trash on. that will include me, worry not. if i &ed myself, i will be forgotten forever which will be paradise for me! do not worry about me or my special friends! i will be okay. only in the near future is when i will not be okay! anyways, this is very long for a post on gamejolt, dont you agree? i feel like i already made my own decisions! please unfollow my main account by spreading fake allegations about me cuz i think i really really really want to be forgotten. best fate i have ever imagined! anyways, if i change my decision, there will be signs.

in conclusion? i will m a y b e take a break from this internet thingy and maybe try and make real friends! do not fear because in the future, everyone will be alone. i actually felt a little smile by thinking about such wonderful future. i can't wait!