okay we have a few things to go over:

I’ve met some really cool people on here. I’ve had good times but I can’t really lie anymore.

There’s been a lot of shitty stuff happening, there was this one friend I had where I depended on him throughout the day, he was the reason I got out of bed. It was so unhealthy holy shiz- I still miss him and I wish I had a better relationship. But while that was happening, I had this weird moment where time felt like it froze and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see, I just laid in my bed. All I saw was my house in this black void then scribbles and it was gone. Nothing was worth it, I felt so scared and like everything was dead. I keep remembering this and it won’t leave me be, I get scared that everyone wants to use me because I say yes to everything. (That’s a quick summary of what happened like 8 months ago!!)

Recently I’ve been trying to deal with everything on my own, not sleeping, not taking care of myself. But I keep going, and I keep trying to move on and try to forget everything.

I had this kind toxic relationship with someone else, we wouldn’t fight but it was more or less passive aggressive comments. They made me feel like shit and I ended it a bit ago. But part of me feels bad for it like it’s my fault. Also note I will not share who any of these people are, it is to keep their privacy.

I want to be better for others, and I’ve been telling everyone “I’m better” but I’m not, everything is getting worse, my school work is getting overwhelming. I’ve been starving myself just to look the way that people want.

Nobody will probably read this, but if you did, I just want to say thanks, and I love you all. Maybe one day I can describe everything better and say what I felt in those horrible moments.

I will be taking a break to work on myself.

Sincerely, Katvex