i really need to talk about this.

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4 years ago, ive joined gj for the fun of it, to talk and socialize with some of my really good friends who im still good friends with now.

on scratch and on here, ive been posting. ive been posting art, animations, jokes, whatever came to my mind at the time. it was a safe place for me to document about what i would be doing at the moment.

on july 2022, i hit 1k followers on scratch. on october 2023, i hit 1k followers on gj. nothing big really hit me on scratch much, since i felt like posting things was a chore and i couldnt find that excitement that i had years ago when i started scratch.

on november 2023, i got creator. from the time creators were a thing to the time i got it, i never really thought of becoming one. the requirements were too far above what i had, and i didnt really feel like working to it. i just kept posting, and posting, and people liked what i made.

but, ive used gj too much. it's became more of an escape rather than a safe place. an escape for me to go into another world and not care about what's happening around me. and i feel really bad about it. this site is probably one of the main reasons why ive been feeling down lately. ive failed school because of me logging back on earlier during my finals week instead of my intended comeback. all ive done is post and post to feel better about myself yet nothing has changed and i'll never learn from it, ill happily beat myself up for it, nobody can do anything about it because im in control of my own actions.

adding on to that half of my audience on gj is around 13 or younger, which kind of makes me a bit overwhelmed. im sorry to say, and i wont point names out but some of you don't understand boundaries. im a person, on a site, just drawing and posting because it was what made me feel happy. some of you out there treat me like the ground beneath your feet. you want nothing but recognition, and empathy, and attention. i hope you know this.

but for those of you who do care, thanks. my post schedule will definitely slow down, and ill mostly be talking about the few upcoming things i have planned. its a lot of things for me and ive been pretty stressed out, and some of you arent patient, so ill be trying to be on schedule. after those events, ill probably be taking my well deserved break before school starts again. sorry to those who looked forward to seeing me more active in summer. im just feeling really bad. im never open about this because, like i said, some of you dont understand boundaries, you all think im still happy go lucky, please grow up.

sorry again, this article was very all over the place and i dont really feel like fixing it, this is what i think and what i say. im not saying gj is bad, i just need a break