Hey, recently I’ve been having more bpd splits than usual, and my mental state has been absolutely terrible, and it doesn’t help that i have a toxic house I live in, I'm unemployed and can’t do anything, despite the fact they bug me about getting a job but don't help me nor allow me to leave, so that and with my depression have been taking a huge toll on me mentally, my friends know too much about this, especially the one of four years, as much i appreciate them I just feel unwanted and often times left out, especially since i can’t really play anything they play so I'm just there half of the time, as much i love being there I just can’t help but feel that way, the trauma formed bpd that causes me to think this way, black and white, all good or all bad, there is no cure for it, only a combination of medication, and just coping, my antidepressants don’t even help it nor my depression.

since it’s getting so bad to the point where i have intrusive thoughts I’m taking a step back and focusing on myself, because I have been helping people but never cared to help myself, because I have been lacking on my self for awhile now and as of recently, i haven’t been eating enough literally eating once a day or none at all, i noticed how boney I’ve gotten, i always wear baggy clothes because of the weird comments my step parent made, and i completely forgot about my weight.

i hope you understand and let me go off in peace and take care of myself, and I am glad to have the support of my friends and even my partner, you guys are the only reason i am still going.

goodbye stay safe ♡