Proceed with caution, this covers very dark topics about my life.

( normal text is dunk me and bold text is sober me)

So I have been secretive of my life on this platform, yet recently I gave away alot of real life information like my traumatic experiences in my childhood. Now I feel safer here, I'm not posting this anywhere else and I will be posting a fuckton of art right after this post so it will be burried down in your feed and in my page so you are most likely looking for this or just found it accidentally in the otherwise my plan to hide this post has failed. I want to say something here, but first of all I'm under the influence of alcahol right now and I do not trust myself much and this post mostlikely will be deleted short after being posted, now to the thing I wanted to say, it's that I don't think I have much time before my country goes to war and I'm drafted. I lived my life how I wanted to yet I feel unsatisfied with it, I have many failed cuicide attempts, no I didint give up last second I just survived through it, im hated by almost everyone, tho I understand why they wouldn't like a guy like me. Recently I started drowning my thoughts in alcahol yet I dont think I'm addicted (I can go months without feeling the need to drink) that caused some problems, and disconnected me from school (yes, I go to school) talking about school there has been a guy (I decided to not just spill my romantic life and cut the thing off and forgot to adjust the text).