So ever since I started Highschool about yesterday, nothing major it was just like my previous school but bigger. I kept thinking about how much less work I did throughout the summer. And expecting people saying to me like: “Is your work done yet? Are the Models finished? Did you do what I asked for?”. And this is why I wanna make this post.

A lot of familiar friends are probably questioning why I leave VC’s early, or not being active as much as I used to be. For the record, I’ve been having lots of trouble sleeping, or having fun at my career. I just feel so overwhelmed ALL the time. It’s all because I announced Discovery Island way too early, and now I got a lot of people (around 200 or more) very excited & hyped about the game, that I announced AROUND THE BEGINNING to where I started GameJolt! It’s never been done in a while, and I just get lazier & lazier the more I try to work on it. Even the same for other games that I am either Collaborating or Newly Created. And sometimes I get messages like: “Hey are ya done with them yet?”. I barely try to work on it at times, I stay up, trying to get it done ASAP, before I could try & fall asleep. And most of the times my friends see me playing Roblox or Minecraft because, THAT’S WHY, I wanna have fun, but I always think if they’re just disappointed that I’m playing games instead of working. I just wanted to do what I love doing, for a bit a least. I get loads of questions from my Mom about why I sleep less. And I don’t feel all happy about development or anything, I just feel lost & I don’t know what I am doing.

Even taking accountability is a pain for me to try & make, example when I took accountability about Pelf0xe or Xubur, I had A LOT of pain from doing these, I know it’s something I have to do, so I shouldn’t really have a problem with it. I mostly take hiatuses or breaks because I wanted to hangout with my family & IRL stuff going on. Some people get upset with it on why I am not working or progressing things for them. I just feel very depressed about it.

Discovery Island isn’t getting canned, nothing is getting canned, they’re just going slow, that’s ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU GUYS. Anything that I work on, whether it’s animating, voice acting, modeling, drawing, I work slowly on. I am not a fast modeler like Sweaty Meat, Radiance, WillyDog or any modeler. I just have a small team about the functioning & me doing the modeling. I just feel very dumb about trying to make a new game, hoping that’ll solve my problems, cus I wanna do something new other than FNaTI or FNaF (Which is why I made Gunshot Roulette). I am a very dumb person, not being hard on myself, but I do REALLY REALLY stupid decisions, and they sometimes really fuck me up.

So, thanks for your guys’ understanding. I’ll be trying to do what I am working on, and hopefully in the future that’ll work out for me.