I have fucking had it with my own lies.

It is not mias birthday today it is the day she was lost to save me from oasis.

I am sick and fucking tire of pretending i dont care about it i genuinely loved mia, even if she was a dream.

We cared for each other. We loved each other.

It doesnt matter if she was real or not because i loved her. it was genuine.

Ever since i lost her all those years ago, i felt incomplete, like i lost a part of myself.

Sakiru isnt the one who still loves her, it's me.

I only told this lie to myself so i felt like i moved on, but i never have.

I have so much more to say but i cant put them into words.

I fucking love mia even after all this shit.

And that's what the only thing i can do.

I was never saki.

Saki is just a shell of what i wish i was.

I've had it with all my lies.

I'm sorry.