In short, this post is to accept my guilt for the insensitive comments and various """jokes""" (still hurtful comments) I have made on social media, specifically on Discord. And also to apologize to each of the people who may have been affected. I'm giving this summary beforehand because I understand that, for more than one person, receiving a notification from an unwanted person might be a nuisance.

I'm going to be 100% honest, at first I thought about just backing down and waiting for things to "calm down". But that's not a good idea at all. My main point in this post is, again, to make it clear that I deeply regret the comments that may have come across as particularly discriminatory (although, seriously, please believe, I never meant any real malice). It's not just that regret, but I also think it's wrong to have any personal beef on either side, you and me; as someone who's been on that side, I understand that beef is generally harmful.

So:

@Aurel224 I am so sorry for making such hurtful """jokes""" on the TRTF Fantasy Land server. At the same time, I am grateful that you and the staff were so patient with someone like me; another owner would have simply banned me without warning for being like that.

@05carMagu1re I'm writing to you specifically because, despite everything, you remain someone I admire and one of my favorite YouTubers. I'm deeply ashamed of the more than two occasions I made tasteless jokes on your Discord server, and I also personally apologize to you because, as a gender-fluid person yourself, my comments were still hurtful to the LGBT+ community in general.

@abby_foxo and @funtimefoxy132421 I'm not sure if those comments reached you, but seeing as I was banned from the ICOT server, I can assume they did. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize. When I first joined this English community, both of you treated me very well and welcomed me. I feel incredibly sorry for making all those comments without considering how hurtful they could be, even if they were "jokes". I understand that the trans community is one of the most vulnerable in the world, and even though my comments were meant as a "joke", I should have thought more carefully about my words. Again, I apologize. While I was making those stupid comments, I never once considered that they could be hurtful to either of you.

On the other hand, I wish you the best in your relationship and any project you undertake.

@CGraves09 You are another great person. I have nothing against you; I admire that you decided to remove me rather than expose your fan community and trans people close to you. Although I'm not sure if my comments were directed at you personally, I still apologize because they were generally hurtful.

I'd like to add that I'm a huge fan of you work. I know you sometimes expressed insecurity about whether you're truly a talented modeler. But believe me, you are. You're building a growing community, and everyone loves your distinctive style. Even people in the LatinAmerican-Spanish community recognize your style on DeviantArt. I wish you all the best and hope you become a great artist soon.

There's also one user on the 05car server, @_K4p1 , and I'm also apologizing to her. I made a terrible comment at the time, to the point that a moderator had to delete it. I'm not sure if it was personally hurtful to Kapi, but I have to apologize because it was genuinely a damn awful comment.

It's a terrible shame that this had to be my first impression to the creator of Five Nights at the Pizzeria. Even though I haven't played it, its graphics and characters look cool, and I'd love to try it someday.

@DisciplinedGoog I said "thank you son" and you politely asked me not to call you that again. I want to apologize and make it clear that I never intended to misgender you; I was just trying to use the same meme as Wendy.

@MsDrProfessorJessica I know you're probably the person I have the most beef with, and even though I still don't consider you a good person because of some private issues that aren't relevant here, I definitely owe you an apology for the hurtful comments I made about the trans community and the LGBT+ community in general. I don't blame you for being angry with me; I completely understand, and I won't say anything against it.

I wish you and all the team much success in your project.

@William_Fazworth I also owe you an apology, since I spread slander behind your back about stupid bullcrap like fangame lore.

@JesterSlumber You are a special case. I don't know if it seems like it, but you are also a very special person to me, not just to me, but to the TRTF community in general; this whole site wouldn't be the same without you. Although my hurtful """jokes""" never seemed to affect you, I still deeply apologize and am sorry for having unintentionally attacked your identity as a person and as a human being.

You are a great artist and have inspired people (as DN Wolf once said), it would be good if you always kept that in mind. I hope to see you succeed.

@GeoIsntGood I appreciate you too, even if it doesn't seem like it. You're generally cool, and I owe you an apology as well. The Fantasy Land server wouldn't be the same without your slandering.

In general, I apologize to the entire LGBT+ community, especially the trans community. I also apologize to all the communities I may have affected, such as TRTF and 05car's; I am deeply sorry for any negative experience I may have caused to any of the members present there.

I decided to separate this section because the most important thing should be at the top (the apologies).

I want to make something clear that I am not transphobic.

I know it sounds very brazen after everything I've said (and it's undeniable that my """jokes""" were clearly transphobic at the end). So, rather than simply stating here that I am not, I wish to prove it.

I want to clarify that the person in question allowed me to use this case, but with names and sensitive information censored.

So, who is this person? She/he's a user I've known since I got fully involved in the Spanish-Latino FNaF community, back in 2022-23 (She/he identifies as a she or he, but is always referred to himself as male when I speak to him, so I will do so from here on).

He faces the dilemma of a trans person: whether he can truly transition, or rather, whether he should. He lives in a country where this is frowned upon, and this is compounded by his conservative family background.

In addition to this, he has a particular problem with "constant déjà vu", preventing him from enjoying anything because he already felt he had experienced it. Me and other users who were friends of his were always there watching and giving hypotheses about it.

[Here he talks about how a friend, Goty Rase, suggested it could be ADHD, but that it would be the psychologist who would have to verify it.]

He would also talk to me about "silly" topics, things that one would be embarrassed to ask anyone about, because he knew that I am not one to judge or anything like that.

[Here he tells me how the smell of perfume or loud noises bother him, he mentioned it as something related to his possible ADHD.]

I know this is a lot of yapping at this point, but what does this person have to do with it? Well, on May 11th, an "expose document" was published regarding alleged acts of gr00ming. The problem arose when most of the screenshots were manipulated or taken out of context; and to make matters worse, the document mocked his identity (his possible transgender status) and tried to link it as a "significant factor" in the gr00ming (when the two things are completely unrelated). This is no longer in the current document, but it was until I pointed it out.

I spent two full days until May 13th pointing out the deficiencies in the expose document, searching for evidence with the help of other users, until finally making a counter-document and publishing it on Twitter/X (the same site where the original expose document had also been published).

The counter-document was so successful that one of the participants in the original document sent me a private message thanking me for making it clear that neither side was right and that not all the accusations against my pal were true.

Even so, some of my informants showed me that the rest of the accusing group were targeting me (and would probably harass me in the same way they did my pal), and it was here that I decided to change accounts; those are "the personal reasons" that I didn't want to mention back then.

I recently came back there because I wanted to take a break from the English community (after all the crap I did and said) and returned to the Spanish-Latino one, you know, for a bit of familiarity.

What I'm trying to say is, if I were truly transphobic, do you really think I would have vouched this much for this person?

Another point I'd like to highlight is that I believe this is also part of a cultural dissonance. At least in the country and region where I live, these generally offensive jokes (not just about the LGBT+ community, but about any social group) are either well-received or simply ignored.

As long as something isn't a direct attack (physical assault, criticism of someone's appearance, etc.), the normal reaction is to ignore it and move on. Men make jokes about women, women make jokes about men, LGBT+ people make jokes about straight people, and straight people make LGBT+ jokes. If you find it funny, you can laugh, if not, you ignore it because it's not a direct attack.

This clearly does not justify my tasteless jokes or my words in any way, but I want to make it clear that I simply thought we were all cool under that laugh-or-ignore law; since I know LGBT+ people in my circle who make shitty jokes in the same way and I thought it would be the same here.

Taking this into account, I want to clarify a specific comment.

It wasn't until recently that I realized many users were emphasizing that I had said something alluding to the death of trans people, and now I see the comment they're referring to.

I want to make it clear that when I meant "banning", I meant Trump ignoring trans people as if that would make them disappear. I never, ever referred to their demise, and I never would; even though I make these shitty jokes, I still have my own limits; I have never, ever made jokes about the death of a socially vulnerable group.

Finally, I want to mention that I won't be leaving the community, or at least not right now. I'm involved in about four projects and I don't want to abandon them halfway through; that would be a real shame for everyone involved.

However, I will strive to maintain self-control from now on, since this all started because of my inability to distinguish between the social norms of the English-speaking and Spanish-Latino communities. This is also why I'm more active in the Spanish-speaking community now, although I still love the English-speaking community very much. My people are still the Latin-speaking community, and my sense of humor should remain confined to that community.

Having said that, I hope that one day you can forgive me for all the bad things I may have put you through.

With all this clear: Feliz Navidad, y Feliz Año Nuevo.