Almost entirely from a few days before my 17th Birthday, until here. I've been nothing but VERY depressed. It is not fun. I've been eating like shit & not even doing any good on here anymore. I've been tired everyday, getting less work done, less motivation & just playing games.

My entire audience is now gone, people don't even recognize me anymore. I don't even know who I am. Questioning to myself, that if it's really worth it growing up as a man instead of staying as the same scared little kid who's been acting nothing but like an immature autistic idiot.

This year, I attempted suicide & hidden it from everyone. A lot of people who really despised me wanted me dead if they were a murderer. I was just treated like a toy all the time. I get sensitive assholes, man-children whenever I just wanted to poke a little fun or just be myself all the time, they go at me like it's a serious thing that I did & threaten me. And what's even crazier, people are asking me evidence about it, CLEARLY not giving a shit if I didn't. PEOPLE disagree with me because of my opinions, & after just start an argument about it then straight up fight me. JUST LIKE what Xubur faces.

I have no one to even trust anymore. I was telling stories on how I think the internet really is. How I think this whole "Art Fight" thing was just a furry thing, because I was never interested in what it was. Of course I was corrected & wrong. Told that you can do anything in it. It's just my trust issues that I choose not to do it. My trust towards others have become worse & worse overtime. I've hated Dandy's World, because of a shitty person. I've hated other sorts of things mostly because of how people treat it & THEN treat me for it.

I hate venting a lot for the past couple of months but I AM DONE at this point. I don't even think I am a real person, I just think I'm fake. I was never real to begin with. I've been fighting with people who wanted to start a fight with me, I am TIRED. I am just a sick fucking loser. Nobody just wants to understand what I try to say.