God. I hate doing this. I hate actually talking about my feelings and wanting help. I hate feeling so weak to people I don't want to seem weak to.
But I guess talking is the only way.
I just hate exams and school. It's not that I am that bad at it, but because I can't study.
I don't have the discipline to study. I never needed to when I was younger, I was either smart enough or would cry and get the help of the teacher.
But I can't just smart it out now. Not with greek. Not with latin. I hate it. So much. I always felt my life would be easy as a kid. That I'd never need to grow up.
Now I can't grow up. Now I just sit there, mindlessly staring at a history book with my mind on absolutely anything but history.
I hate being like this. I hate lacking the discipline to ever change. I hate thinking about people who never had the chances I had, because I can't use them.
I hate being different.
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