I honestly don’t know what ‘motivation’ is any more.
I haven’t had it for weeks. I keep trying and trying and things keep getting worse and worse.

like, honestly, I need to find myself. I need to be motivated, but I just can’t.
I can’t pay rent for March, and I can’t find a job to help. My previous job was supposed to send me something so I could get on until I find a job, but it’s been a month since they said that, and it still hasn’t come. I still have bills to pay in the meantime, and I just can’t.

And in turn, I have no motivation to do anything. I’m not motivated to work on HOME, or youtube videos. I’m not motivated to wake up in the mornings, and I’m not even motivated enough to eat some days.
Not that I can really afford much food anyway.

I’m sorry to rant and ramble. I dunno why I have to feel bad about speaking my feelings, but I am.