Jab: A simple punch punch kick

Side tilt: A surprisingly long reaching kick

Up tilt: I DO A FLIP

Down tilt: I just smack the ground in front of me

Side smash: A fairly quick punch

Up smash: I do a short jump and it does damage

Down smash: I go full on dance mode and spin around several times upside down, with my feet being the attacking part

Neutral air: I put one foot out and do a 360 spin

Up air: I punch directly above myself, and it also moves me upward a bit

Down air: I fall really fast, feet first, but it can also be cancelled at any time

Forward air: Literally just like Mario’s forward air, except it’s with my foot instead, as I have very stubby arms

Back air: I quickly spin around with my feet out, acting as a kick attack

Up throw: I put my foot under my opponent and throw them in the air

Forward throw: I literally just grab the opponent and YEET them, not doing much damage, but it has a TON of launch distance

Down throw: I literally jump on the opponent and karate chop them in the head and they fall over

Back throw: I do the so long gay bowser throw

Neutral special: I wield a nerf gun

Side special: I hop into a car and crash it, it does recoil damage, but it also causes a big explosion, that does a lot of damage

Up special: I place a ladder and clump it, then jump off of it, which puts me into free fall for some reason

Down special: I temporarily die and during that time I can’t be hit

Final smash: I literally just drop a nuke and it blows up

Also I can float so I have like 4 jumps